Archive | June, 2013

Just Him

19 Jun

I am not religious, I am on a journey. My journey is a growing journey, a path of Love; Of Peace; Of Hope; Of Joy.

I am sorry for every time you thought you were being hurt by the Christian and not the human. I am sorry people hurt others in the name of God when it truly is in the name of a cause or an ego. But you know, that people that hurt others are really hurting within themselves.

I am sorry if you were disillusioned, mislead or harmed by Religion; I was. It was the great lie of Should’s and Should nots. I didn’t know God. I didn’t understand Faith. I only knew I was unworthy. I thought you had to be “good” to get to heaven. Great question would be “how good do you have to be to get in?” I was never going to be good enough.

I love my Lord, my Rescuer, my Hope.. I love the Bible, it keeps me together and it is, to me, incredibly alive. I love Church, it lets me dig deeper; seek Him more. I am nourished and fed; I feel a sense of sameness, of oneness.

What I am not is perfect. What I am not is good enough for heaven. What I am not is Holy enough. I am only saved because of Grace; Forgiven not because I became holy but because I was struck by the amazing realization that inspite of how wrong I can get it, He died for me, he took pity on me and with Mercy for me, took my sin and suffered a horrible death for me.

I still mess up. I still have moments of weakness. I still get caught up in things that certainly don’t serve God. I have been attacked, lied about, judged. I am despised by some,even those that don’t know me. I am judged as holier than thou, yet I strive to wear my sin openly, strive to be transparent in my journey to become a light of God. What I desire is not your approval but for you to know the relationship I know with God. It is incredible. I didn’t become a religious person, the scales of blindness just fell away. Because I walk with Him every day, He changes me;there are things that become less important over time; other things that replace those that fall away.

There is a work going on inside my heart. I see this world with different eyes. It is this amazing journey of pride and rebelliousness to peace, loving gentleness and growing selflessness. Remain [in HIM} is a definition, a natural follow-up to the words ‘I do’ believe. It is a peace-filled passive term of acceptance AND a word that requires action. This development of relationship in which we, after receiving our salvation, need to grow in. Like any relationship, you don’t get to “acceptance” in one step. It is over time, over sorrows, over missteps, over hope. It is the building of a trusting relationship with God. It requires us to ebb and flow as we give and take back, seek and turn away, until we develop a deep and trusting, committed, and incredible relationship where we are almost walking a bit in Heaven everyday. And when we arrive at this amazing place, we can look back and see that He remained with us because we said I do.

This is my religion. There is nothing I fear. There is just hope, joy and incredible trust. There is just The Holy Spirit, My God and My Savior.