My Baptismal Testimony

8 Oct

Your Love never fails, never gives up, never runs out on me.~ Jesus Culture

I found this in some notes as I unpack from yet another move. I wrote this the morning of my Baptism; re-baptism to be exact. It makes me smile to see how far I have come from such grief to such joy. God is so good…so very, very good.

I had a testimony written last week but last night, I asked myself why am I being re-baptized. I know all the things that lead up to it, but why re-baptism?
I had originally planned on the August baptism, but it just didn’t work out with my work schedule. Now I know why, I wasn’t ready.
I always had my faith,I never doubted,always accepted Jesus. My own way at times yes, but it was there.
A little over a year ago, my whole world came to a halt and turned upside down. I lost my marriage, my job, my home, my belongings, financial security, my pets, my stepchildren and all that I knew my life to mean; my worth, my definition. My own children were not here, all lived out of state,living their own lives.
The extreme loss of it, all at once, nearly did me in. Only by God’s Grace am I here, literally. I almost didn’t survive it. I know my suffering brought me closer to the Lord. I know my gratitude for the deep suffering and all it has blessed me with in the end.
I know all that I have learned this year; I know that I have been blessed 10 fold with beautiful loving people in my life, faithful loving family, some are here today and I am so very grateful.
It’s huge, all I have been thru, still am going thru as I continue to let go and now, again, lost my job a week ago. I’m grateful for how joyful I am today. It’s a great testimony in its own right and I don’t mean to take away from the magnitude of it. I will suffer hardship and loss again in my life but I won’t suffer because I am not trusting, or grasping to redirect God’s plan, or even when I am afraid.
I will lean on Him, trust in Him and he will get me thru. I will grow and I will learn and each time I stumble, each time I lose something; I know clearly that what he replaces it with will be amazing and wonderful and I know it. I trust it. I trust Him.
But still, the nagging question kept bugging me… why re-baptize?
I am being baptized today because I commit my life to Him today. I lay my whole being before my Lord. I give myself to Him. I am worthy of it, and so is HE. We got here together. He stripped me, pruned me, brought all the right people to help me thru it and I accepted. I followed, He lead. I gave myself up and didn’t even know it. HE loves me unconditionally and I love HIM. Because I am all in; He knows it and so do I. Now, I submit, and He will take me where he wants me to go.
The day after I didn’t take my life, July 9, 2010, the day I found this joy in my heart that never leaves, I read this scripture and it will be forever written in my heart. My baptismal Scripture is from The Beatitudes’

~Matthew 5 3-5 ~in The message.
3″You’re blessed when you’re at the end of your rope. With less of you there is more of God and his rule. 4″You’re blessed when you feel you’ve lost what is most dear to you. Only then can you be embraced by the One most dear to you.5″You’re blessed when you’re content with just who you are—no more, no less. That’s the moment you find yourselves proud owners of everything that can’t be bought.

The more i seek you,
the more i find you.

The more i find you,
the more I love you

I wanna sit at your feet
drink from the cup in your hand.
Lay back against you and breath,
hear your heart beat

This love is so deep,
it’s more than I can stand.
I melt in your peace, it’s overwhelming ~ Kari Jobe

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3 Responses to “My Baptismal Testimony”

  1. beachgirl952 November 18, 2014 at 7:31 pm #

    Thank you Gregory.

Trackbacks/Pingbacks

  1. Tashana Alyza’s Baptism | The Adventures of Bogzy - October 9, 2013

    […] My Baptismal Testimony (beachgirl952.wordpress.com) […]

  2. Gregory Smith - October 5, 2014

    I love your blog

    I have read this article and enjoyed it

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