Tag Archives: codependent

Leggo My Ego

16 May

Every day, as I head home, I begin to cry. I wonder what people on the road think of me as they pass.As the days turn into nights, my mind begins to betray me.
Thoughts of what if’s and why’s, my strength turns into insecurity
I wrestle with the words God says about me and who HE is, and begin to listen to other voices.The storm that I allow to be weakness in my heart leaves me wondering what I have done to deserve this.

In my study of Esther, I am realizing something so profound. I see no difference between pride and meekness or insecurity.  If you feel entitled to something you are either going to feel slighted or you are going to want recognition. It is ego. God will take you down from that mountain in a real hurry.  We either lament not having what we thought we deserved or we take credit for what we think we deserve.

Haman in Esther (Esther 6) was an insecure man that longed for recognition. He needed to puff himself  up with false pride and envisioned great honor for himself. He had a very dark heart, clouded by his own needs of entitlement. God humbled him in a moment.

Ego is a tool of Satan whether your ego is bruised or puffed up. You may not be arrogant; You may be insecure instead, but don’t think for a moment that this is humility. It is so ego driven, and because you think it isn’t self-centered, you may feed it more frequently than someone that is arrogant may. You may be easily offended, you may feel slighted more frequently, hurt deeper than most. You may focus more on what you are getting verses what you think you should be getting.

Humility is the opposite. Humility is only full of worship. Humility isn’t self-seeking in any way; It isn’t self-satisfying. Humility isn’t self-deprecating. It is a dying to self (ego)and knowing your worth. How we find true humbling of our self, is to look up to Him in full on worship and faith (obedience), regardless of where the latest trials or successes have taken you.

When you are truly humbled in your experience, though you feel the pain of trial,  you will know you are exactly where you are meant to be on this path of life. Humility let’s see that even though everything looks shattered and war torn, you can breathe. You can sigh deep within your heart and know, really know, that this is the plan. It is good.

It is painfully difficult but it is good.

Letting go of ego, starts with worship. If you read David’s words in Psalms, he often begins with statements of dire conditions and pain of heart. His circumstances are awful. But he turns to praise and worship of who God is.  I am turning to worship. I am worshipping Him for all He has planned and for all He is doing in my heart. He is removing all seeds of ego, He is replacing ego with humble and noble fearlessness*. He is reminding me of His powerful love and mercy. His Grace is pouring down on me in so many ways and when I am lost in ego, I miss it. I don’t want to miss that!

As a woman of faith, I have courage. In Him I can do all things for He gives me strength.  I am brave (in Him). I am strong (in Him). I am loved (by Him). I am purposeful (by Him). I am gifted (by Him). I am not alone (with Him).

I don’t have to earn anything. Not respect, not honor, not my place in Heaven. I am an heiress. I am in the will. It isn’t about what I do. It isn’t about my worth. It isn’t about me at all. It is who He is. It is what He has done. It is His love for me. I am worth more than rubies to him. I am His and He is mine.

Peace like a river. Even in the painful times. I trust in a perfect Father and believe Him and who He tells me He is. He is working out everything for my good. Yeah!

*Noble fearlessness is trusting in a higher purpose for every single what if, and why. The root work for noble in Hebrew is the same as Valor.

[b]A wife of noble character who can find?
    She is worth far more than rubies. Proverbs 31:10

28 And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who[a] have been called according to his purpose Romans 8:28

11 For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Jeremiah 29:11

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But God!

25 Jun

HIS words, not his words,not her words, not our words.

But God…
But God says I am wonderfully made
But God says I am his prize
God gives us all we need. Even scripture to back up His promises and to show how much He loves us!

But God, being rich in mercy, because of his great love with which he loved us, even though we were dead in transgressions, made us alive together with Christ–by grace you are saved

But God said, You are made new! You are not the past.
2 Corinthians 5:17 (NIV)Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, the new creation has come: The old has gone, the new is here!
But God said… You are now Holy because you believe!
1 Peter 1:16 (NIV) for it is written: “Be holy, because I am holy.”
But God said, I am enough! I am all you need.
Psalm 16:5 (NIV)Lord, you alone are my portion and my cup; you make my lot secure.
But God said, don’t look there.. look here! Renew your mind but hearing me!
Romans 12:2 (NIV)Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will.
But God said, you are wanted, you are my prized and cherished prince and princess!
1 Peter 2:9 (NIV)But you are a chosen people, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, God’s special possession, that you may declare the praises of him who called you out of darkness into his wonderful light.
But God said, hey! I made you just the way you are, I don’t make mistakes, be strong in that.
Ephesians 2:10(NIV)For we are God’s handiwork, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.
But God said, Wipe those tears. You are not alone, I dwell within you. You are strong!
1 Corinthians 6:19 (NIV)Do you not know that your bodies are temples of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own;
But God said You are a child of God.
John 1:12 (NIV) But to all who have received him–those who believe in his name–he has given the right to become God’s children
But God said you are a branch of the true vine, and a conduit of Christ’s life.
John 15: 1, 5 (NIV) I am the true vine and my Father is the gardener. I am the vine; you are the branches. The one who remains in me–and I in him–bears much fruit, because apart from me you can accomplish nothing
But God said you are a friend of Jesus.
John 15:15 (NIV) I no longer call you slaves, because the slave does not understand what his master is doing. But I have called you friends, because I have revealed to you everything I heard from my Father
But God says.. I have been justified and redeemed.
Romans 3:24 (NIV) But they are justified freely by his grace through the redemption that is in Christ Jesus
But God said, I am adopted as His child, I am a fellow heir with Christ.
Romans 8:17 (NIV) And if children, then heirs (namely, heirs of God and also fellow heirs with Christ)–if indeed we suffer with him so we may also be glorified with him
But God said, I have been accepted by Christ.
Romans 15:7 (NIV) Receive one another, then, just as Christ also received you, to God’s glory
But God says I am wise and beautiful
1 Corinthians 1:30 (NIV) He is the reason you have a relationship with Christ Jesus, who became for us wisdom from God, and righteousness and sanctification and redemption …
But God says, I am not alone, the Holy Spirit dwells in me.
1 Corinthians 6:17 (NIV) But the one united with the Lord is one spirit with
But God says, don’t let the cruelty and heart ache of this world define you. That has been set free by Christ!
2 Corinthians 3:14 (NIV) But their minds were closed. For to this very day, the same veil remains when they hear the old covenant read. It has not been removed because only in Christ is it taken away
But God said You now share the righteousness of God in Christ.
2 Corinthians 5:21 (NIV) God made the one who did not know sin to be sin for us, so that in him we would become the righteousness of God
But God says that I am no longer under anyone’s rule but his and I am His child and an heir.
Galatians 4:7 (NIV) So you are no longer a slave but a son, and if you are a son, then you are also an heir through God
But God says!!! I have been blessed with every spiritual blessing in the heavenly places.
Ephesians 1:3 (NIV) Blessed is the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who has blessed us with every spiritual blessing in the heavenly realms in Christ
But God says!!! I am chosen, holy, and blameless before God.
Ephesians 1:4 (NIV) For he chose us in Christ before the foundation of the world that we may be holy and unblemished in his sight in love
But God said! I am redeemed and forgiven by the grace of Christ.
Ephesians 1:7 (NIV) In him we have redemption through his blood, the forgiveness of our trespasses, according to the riches of his grace
But God said, I picked YOU! This is all for you.
Ephesians 1:11 (NIV) In Christ we too have been claimed as God’s own possession, since we were predestined according to the one purpose of him who accomplishes all things according to the counsel of his will
But God said that YOU have been sealed with the Holy Spirit of promise.
Ephesians 1:13 (NIV) And when you heard the word of truth (the gospel of your salvation)–when you believed in Christ–you were marked with the seal of the promised Holy Spirit
But God said, Who cares who breaks promises here. I never break mine!
Ephesians 1:13 (NIV) And when you heard the word of truth (the gospel of your salvation)–when you believed in Christ–you were marked with the seal of the promised Holy Spirit
But God said I am mercy and love, You are made alive with Christ.
Ephesians 2:4-5 (NIV) But God, being rich in mercy, because of his great love with which he loved us, even though we were dead in transgressions, made us alive together with Christ–by grace you are saved
But God promises that I am seated in the heavenly places with Christ.
Ephesians 2:6 (NIV) … And he raised us up with him and seated us with him in the heavenly realms in Christ Jesus …
But God says, HUSH! Don’t listen to the criticism..YOU are God’s workmanship created to produce good works.
Ephesians 2:10 (NIV) For we are his workmanship, having been created in Christ Jesus for good works that God prepared beforehand so we may do them
But God says.. You are MINE by the blood of Christ.
Ephesians 2:13 (NIV) But now in Christ Jesus you who used to be far away have been brought near by the blood of Christ
But God said, Look around, you aren’t alone! You are surrounded by your whole body of believers..
Ephesians 5:30… The Gentiles are fellow heirs, fellow members of the body, and fellow partakers of the promise in Christ Jesus
But God says.. No! I didn’t make you weak! I made you STRONG! I am HERE!
Ephesians 3:12 NIV… In whom we have boldness and confident access to God because of Christ’s faithfulness
But God says.. He guards my heart and mind.
Philippians 4:7 (NIV) And the peace of God that surpasses all understanding will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus
But God says.. I got this!! I will take care of all you need.
Philippians 4:19 NIV And my God will supply your every need according to his glorious riches in Christ Jesus
But God says here, here is this beautiful jacket I a made just for you. Because you are my beloved.
Colossians 3:12 NIV Therefore, as the elect of God, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with a heart of mercy, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience
But God loves me and has chosen me.
1 Thessalonians 1:4 NIV We know, brothers and sisters loved by God, that he has chosen you
But God says.. I made you in MY image.
Genesis 1:27 (NIV) So God created mankind in his own image,in the image of God he created them;male and female he created them.
But God says, I loved you so much, I longed for you’re here, I let my Son die so we can be together.
1 Peter 1:18 (NIV)For you know that it was not with perishable things such as silver or gold that you were redeemed from the empty way of life handed down to you from your ancestors,
But God says.. Hear Me! You are strong in me, you are beautiful and designed by me.
2 Corinthians 12:10 (NIV) That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.
But God said, why are you looking down! I designed you! I pursue you all the time!
Psalm 139:13-16 (NIV) For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother’s womb.I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful,I know that full well.My frame was not hidden from you when I was made in the secret place,when I was woven together in the depths of the earth.Your eyes saw my unformed body;all the days ordained for me were written in your book,before one of them came to be.
But God said. Do not worry about a thing! Read this promise from me to you! I got this!
Matthew 6:25-34 (NIV)Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothes? Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? Can any one of you by worrying add a single hour to your life.And why do you worry about clothes? See how the flowers of the field grow. They do not labor or spin. Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these. If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will he not much more clothe you—you of little faith? So do not worry, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.
But God said! I am enough for you!
2 Corinthians 12:9 (NIV) But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me.
But God said, let go. Surrender to me. I will take care of you.
Jeremiah 29:11 (NIV) For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. “
But God said, You are precious! Yet you let doubt in. I won’t let you down!
Matthew 10:31 (NIV) So don’t be afraid; you are worth more than many sparrows.