Tag Archives: jesus

His Purposes

14 Sep

At the beginning of our walk with Christ, we see Him begin to heal us, change us, make us new in new ways. We bask in the joy of getting it! Of knowing Grace, mercy! It is the beginning of a journey. We love Him.

Satan will do everything he can to distract you from continuing from there. Not because you aren’t saved – our salvation is a gift – we can’t earn it.

He tries to distract us so we don’t grow stronger and more able to be used for our purpose. To keep moving forward. Deep roots.

Those of us who push through battle after battle and continue to grow through failure and hardships, those of us who always turn back to Him, over and over, grow to understand Him. We understand who He is and we achieve this place of knowing who we are in Christ.

Many stop here loving the blessings of being loved and provided for. Maybe leading bible studies. Teaching believers.

And then there are some of us that go deeper with Him still and grow to understand it’s not about Satan or who is against us or for us, it is about who we are for. Our whole purpose and passion shifts.

It becomes all about Him. Not about us at all.

We get to this place where we feel urgency to bring others to Him, to shed the light of Hope in this dark world. We don’t care about the world and it’s distractions/ we enjoy them but our passion remains in Him.

Satan will do everything he can to stop you, warfare becomes very real.

But if not us, then who?

We will take up the sword, we will walk confidently in His power, not our own strength. We will seek Him in everything, and see the blessings are not houses when His house sits empty. It is not money or love, when His lost are still lost and need us to love them to help them never go hungry again.

I read the last of Daniel today.

And yes, urgency is burning in my soul. The minute I knew I was useful to God was when I stopped thinking it was about me, but rather it was His purpose for me.

I am already empowered, embraced, equipped and loved. It is about Him.

He who dwells within me. I can do all things- because of Him. For Hm. His purposes.

“What shall we say about such wonderful things as these? If God is for us, who can ever be against us? Since he did not spare even his own Son but gave him up for us all, won’t he also give us everything else? Who dares accuse us whom God has chosen for his own? No one—for God himself has given us right standing with himself. Who then will condemn us? No one—for Christ Jesus died for us and was raised to life for us, and he is sitting in the place of honor at God’s right hand, pleading for us.”

‭‭Romans‬ ‭8:31-34‬ ‭NLT‬‬

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Discernment

8 Aug

As a Christian we are given many gifts. The Holy Spirit,  our intercessor and helper, is an important gift.  The Word of God is also His precious gift. In the pages of His amazing book, chapter after chapter, God shows Himself to us fully. He speaks to us. He directs our steps. He gives us the gift of discernment.

Discernment is something we as women are not very good at when it comes to our heart. We tend to lead with our hearts. He tells us to put our faith and trust in Him, yet we can discount discernment for fear of not being loved or liked. Fear of upsetting someone.

We are to love people, and trust God.  Why does He tell us this? He tells us this to protect us. Not because we are weaker, or because we a gullible, but because we all fall short. When we place our trust in God, and not in the words man tells us, when we seek Him first, seek discernment, He protects us. Whether or not we listen to Him, He is trying to protect us.

Broken people do what ever they need to do, to not have discomfort.  I have ignored God’s voice, the Holy Spirit, when He has been cautioning me.  I  have defended people, even when I found them in lies. I have been unconsciously unwilling to really hear God, worse, unwilling to trust Him fully instead. I have ended up with mighty painful lessons.

In the end, what they choose isn’t about us. It is about their battle. What we choose is. We absolutely may suffer, we may be collateral damage, and it can be painful, but in the end, all sin is vertical. Theirs is, and ours is. Everything we do, praise, obedience, sin, is between us and God. We hide nothing from God. Not one thing we do is ever a surprise to Him. If we are not living according to His word, we sin and all of us sin, daily.

But God, But Grace.

The beauty of our relationship to Christ, when we are believers, is though we are not kept from the consequences of our sin, we are still loved and not condemned. The gift is the conviction so we can bring our sin to Him as soon as it is revealed.  God loves us and washes us clean and we don’t live under the weight of sin.   Repentance is freedom. Lies are prison.

Brokenness in people is like the poisoned water’s surrounding Florida.  Suddenly there is a crisis. There has been damage being done, for years, lots of history of it. We all see it, but we just don’t do anything about it because we think something will be done by someone else. One day, the damage is too far reaching, there is too much harm. Lies are like that. People stuck in sin are like that.

We don’t hate people caught in sin, we hate Satan’s hold on a person, that causes the damage, we hate the fallout. God allows things, over time, but when those lies do damage to His Glory and His purposes, He says, we are at crisis, be a warrior for me now.

God says to live in peace with everyone. Ecclesiastes tells us there is a time for peace and a time for war.  Sometimes, even as a woman, God says, I need you to stand on truth. I need you strong and I need you to go to battle.  Ephesians gives us the Armor to stand firm against the attacks from the darkness. For me, peace is the obvious option, I fear even though God has made me very strong.

I learned recently, sometimes God calls us up, arms us to do battle. He will arm His people to stand firm.  Sometimes it is to be still. Sometimes it is to speak the truth. Our reputation in this world truly doesn’t matter in the big picture, that is God’s protection for us. All that matters in the end is God’s purposes,  God’s glory. Discernment is vital for our walk and our well-being.  We must be close to Him to be able to hear when He says go or stay. Not our own voices or our own offense. We only have one enemy. We do battle with Satan, His lies.   If we stand on truth, refute the lies, and then let God do the work;   The truth will always set us free. God hates lies more than anything. Lies are the greatest tool of darkness. We do not fight to win a war, we simply battle for truth.

In the end, we are here for a breathe. When we answer His call, when we are working for the Kingdom of God, our purpose is to be His hands and feet, to bring light where there is dark. To shine Him in all we do. Satan knows he cannot change our salvation. He isn’t trying to steal our redemption, He knows when we are chosen and answering the call. What He is doing is trying to steal our influence, our ability to touch the lost.  He will use anything to do that.  Even when we are afraid to stand against the enemy, God will fight for us. Sometimes, we have to go to war for that.  Sometimes, Peace at all costs is not peace at all.

Ephesians 6:10-18 (NIV)

The Armor of God

10 Finally, be strong in the Lord and in his mighty power. 11 Put on the full armor of God, so that you can take your stand against the devil’s schemes. 12 For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms.13 Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand. 14 Stand firm then, with the belt of truth buckled around your waist, with the breastplate of righteousness in place, 15 and with your feet fitted with the readiness that comes from the gospel of peace. 16 In addition to all this, take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one. 17 Take the helmet of salvation and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God.

18 And pray in the Spirit on all occasions with all kinds of prayers and requests. With this in mind, be alert and always keep on praying for all the Lord’s people.

Proverbs 28:26  (NIV)

26 Those who trust in themselves are fools,
    but those who walk in wisdom are kept safe.

Psalm 119  (MSG)

119 1-8 You’re blessed when you stay on course,
    walking steadily on the road revealed by God.
You’re blessed when you follow his directions,
    doing your best to find him.
That’s right—you don’t go off on your own;
    you walk straight along the road he set.
You, God, prescribed the right way to live;
    now you expect us to live it.
Oh, that my steps might be steady,
    keeping to the course you set;

 

 

 

Crafty Fool

19 Jul

I have had warfare going on and I knew it was the crafty devil trying to rob me of my peace this week as I dropped things, got pulled over, an unwanted text, someone trying to create an issue for their own purposes. We just need to be aware and rise above and see that we only fight one enemy.

I realized I had, for the first time this year, missed reading my one year bible study, missed my quiet time for three days in a row, I realized he was distracting me.  I am fully aware that we really only have one enemy and he is weak compared to my God. We must recognize him in all that he does.

When we slowly move through each trial, learning and growing in our faith, each lesson building our character and strength, Satan begins to come at us.  He knows that our faith is strong so he needs to stop us from helping other’s become strong.

As we grow in understanding, we learn to anticipate his attacks.   As we grow, he becomes more crafty in his attempts to sidetrack us.  He will stop at nothing to rob us of peace, to stop us from bringing even one more believer to the throne.

I have had a few successes, a few praises lately. Today I saw that I can begin to see my own success or I can stay fully submitted and give Him the Glory.  We are a steward of all things we have. He gives and takes away for his own purposes.  I was in the paper, which was fun.  As people began to say such nice things, we start to take that on and let that make us feel good.

This morning as I read Psalm 136 it hit me.  I am not humbling myself before Him. When I take my life and think I have determined my own steps, or accomplished for my own gain, then I have stopped submitting, stopped giving Him glory and stopped being able to be used for His purposes.

The beautiful, amazing God that we serve, meets us right back where we left off.  When we resubmit, recognize and humble ourselves again, he meets us right there,as if it didn’t even happen,  “carry on”.

We are not so kind or forbearing of one another, not that forgiving. But God is. What would our world be like if we all were more like that?

Recognizing He has placed it all there, not me, humbling myself, I look up and see a double rainbow in the sky. He is pleased.  He is kind and good and loving and gracious.  I forgot to give Him all the thanks in my heart for all He has done, accomplished in me, changed in me, used in me, blessed me with.  I am a handful! But, He is fully aware and loves me so.

Proverbs 1:7 Fear(Awe) of the Lord is the foundation of wisdom.

2 Timothy 4:18 Yes, and the Lord will deliver me from every evil attack and will bring me safely into his heavenly Kingdom. All glory to God forever and ever! Amen.

2 Timothy 1:7 For God has not given us a spirit of fear and timidity, but of power, love and self-discipline.

Psalm 136

Give thanks to the Lord, for he is good!
His faithful love endures forever.
Give thanks to the God of gods.
His faithful love endures forever.
Give thanks to the Lord of lords.
His faithful love endures forever.

Give thanks to him who alone does mighty miracles.
His faithful love endures forever.
Give thanks to him who made the heavens so skillfully.
His faithful love endures forever.
Give thanks to him who placed the earth among the waters.
His faithful love endures forever.
Give thanks to him who made the heavenly lights—
His faithful love endures forever.
the sun to rule the day,
His faithful love endures forever.
and the moon and stars to rule the night.
His faithful love endures forever.

10 Give thanks to him who killed the firstborn of Egypt.
His faithful love endures forever.
11 He brought Israel out of Egypt.
His faithful love endures forever.
12 He acted with a strong hand and powerful arm.
His faithful love endures forever.
13 Give thanks to him who parted the Red Sea.[a]
His faithful love endures forever.
14 He led Israel safely through,
His faithful love endures forever.
15 but he hurled Pharaoh and his army into the Red Sea.
His faithful love endures forever.
16 Give thanks to him who led his people through the wilderness.
His faithful love endures forever.

17 Give thanks to him who struck down mighty kings.
His faithful love endures forever.
18 He killed powerful kings—
His faithful love endures forever.
19 Sihon king of the Amorites,
His faithful love endures forever.
20 and Og king of Bashan.
His faithful love endures forever.
21 God gave the land of these kings as an inheritance—
His faithful love endures forever.
22 a special possession to his servant Israel.
His faithful love endures forever.

23 He remembered us in our weakness.
His faithful love endures forever.
24 He saved us from our enemies.
His faithful love endures forever.
25 He gives food to every living thing.
His faithful love endures forever.
26 Give thanks to the God of heaven.
His faithful love endures forever.

Hidden People

15 Jul

Anyone that knows me well knows that I have a heart for women and kids at risk. Women that are beaten down, grieving, suffering and children that have suffered in ways no child should suffer, children lost in the system. The hidden people, I love them most.

My time spent working with the girls of Hansen House, sexually trafficked, thrown away, hidden from the world girls, the boys here at Crossroads Hope Academy and Gator Wilderness Camp, all have opened my eyes to the widespread evil done to children and rocked me to my core. Honestly, it’s bigger than my mind can grasp. It humbles me in a way I can’t even describe. I almost don’t want to. But I have to.

As I had the honor of sitting in a room of 23 broken boys yesterday, I just loved them. As they sang and played instruments, my heart filled with a love for them that I know is also God’s Love. I wanted to rescue each one and fill their wounds with hope and love. These boys are broken in ways you can’t even fathom, walking through abuse and circumstances you didn’t even think could be real they are so horrendous and dark.

The church is under attack, true, and maybe, just maybe, we need to be sifted and shook up, to grab hold of truth and walk closer with God. Maybe we can stop pointing fingers and be changed and transformed within our own souls for God’s purposes.  This one enemy we have has been very busy lately. He has devoured marriage upon marriage, family upon family. He is attacking people when they are weakened, with illness or hardship. This one, just one enemy, is telling this world dark lies, he is lying to people who do terrible things to the babies so they grow up and do terrible things.We have to be wise. There is a very sick underbelly of this world, buying and selling children. Some sell their own babies, for drugs or because they suffered themselves.

Sadly, these are just two homes, two last resort homes because the behavioral issues are so deep, that just a few miles apart are home to are over 40 kids that need hope. These are just the ones that are local for me, one small corner of the world.

Oh Lord,  but my heart is on fire to see miracles in their young broken lives. I love my women and my heart wants to  encourage and to build up every broken woman with a strength and peace and hope that is far beyond what she is walking through and what she has left behind. A strong woman knows she can do the same for others.  But these kids! These children, have my whole attention; my whole heart.

What is the answer? I don’t have it, but I know God does. I covet the prayers of everyone for these kids. For a ministry that captures the families before they do the damage they have done. A ministry that has triggers and that walks beside them, before they harm, helps build them up, helps to heal what is broken in them that makes them cause a child to stumble so far. It is a church need, a church ministry, that needs to rise up and reach out and build up and end the generational abuse. These boys are being ministered to in beautiful ways. But there will be more and the numbers seem to grow.

We simply need God back at the core people! To lead us. To step in where we don’t see need.  We need clarity, and compassion. We need to see truth, we need to see what we need to see. We can’t live under rocks. You don’t have to step in to pour into lives unseen, but we must care!  We must decide where the boundary is.

Satan wants you to be rejecting of this. God doesn’t need you to do anything about this.  I do know one thing however, God loves those children, very much.

Here is my absolute truth. I know that my God can do this, with or without me, but I can’t do anything at all without Him in me. He will open eyes, He will open doors He needs opened.  He has been teaching me lately to listen and to move on His promptings. I have learned to be obedient in those promptings. He is building me up, testing me, making me strong. He humbles me when I get too self-reliant.

Of course, Satan is doing his very best to distract me, derail me, get me off track. We have one God.  And though there are monster’s everywhere, we truly only have one enemy. One.  God is bigger.

Fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom, fear of anything else is the beginning of your downfall. As I move towards the ministry God is designing, God will make a way.

Romans 8:26-30  (TPT)

26 And in a similar way, the Holy Spirit takes hold of us in our human frailty to empower us in our weakness. For example, at times we don’t even know how to pray, or know the best things to ask for. But the Holy Spirit rises up within us to super-intercede[a] on our behalf, pleading to God with emotional sighs[b] too deep for words.

27 God, the searcher of the heart, knows fully our longings,[c]yet he also understands the desires of the Spirit, because the Holy Spirit passionately pleads before God for us, his holy ones, in perfect harmony with God’s plan and our destiny.

28 So we are convinced that every detail of our lives is continually woven together to fit into God’s perfect plan of bringing good into our lives, for we are his lovers who have been called to fulfill his designed purpose. 29 For he knew all about us before we were born and he destined us[d] from the beginning to share the likeness of his Son. This means the Son is the oldest among a vast family of brothers and sisters who will become just like him.

30 Having determined our destiny ahead of time, he called us to himself and transferred his perfect righteousness to everyone he called. And those who possess his perfect righteousness he co-glorified with his Son!

 

 

 

 

 

Finding Light in the Dark

9 Jun

As we hear about so many suicides, I think about all that I have walked in the nearly 8 years since my overwhelming experience with God; The night that changed everything.  July 9,2010.

What if?  What if I had not decided to go to Friday night church. What if I hadn’t told Pastor Jeff my plan. The plan I made earlier that week. What if Sue and Jeff hadn’t spent the evening talking with me, and praying with me? What if God had not intervened.

What I understand is the blackness. I understand the desire to not feel so much pain any longer, to not feel like a burden or invisible. To not feel so wrong and out of place. To not feel plastic in a plastic world. To not feel discardable. (is that a word?). I understand the isolation of being strong and not telling. No one knew.

What I found was an eye opening, amazing love from and for a God I finally believed was real. Everything crashed down around me and I had nothing left. I was at rock bottom. What I found there was Him. In all His sweetness and love, I found the beginning of a love for a creation He called Beckie. I found a purpose.

What I found was a peace that settle so completely on my soul that night. By morning I was walking on sunshine; From the pit of despair to pure joy. Free.

What felt like a bottomless black, a pain-filled nothingness; morphed instantly into a joy beyond measure. I found my redemption, my forgiveness, the promises of true forever. Hope.

God breathed new life into my weary soul.  I am one of the blessed ones. Blessed to be a blessing.

My sweet friend committed suicide when we were 19. I loved Julie and it broke my heart when she left us. I  still talk to her, still think of her so often. My friend Ron, just took his life 4 years ago this summer. My son, who loves Jesus deeply, through his own journey with coming to terms with his homosexuality, walked a depressed and difficult path. He didn’t come to terms with his own path until he was 31 and it has cost him much in this world. He once told me “if you knew who I was, you would hate me”.  He had his attempts, and many trials. This world is sure unkind to those that don’t fit the world’s view of “acceptable”, those who’s sin is obvious. Especially the saved only by Grace,from their own ugly sin” Christian world.

As christian’s, there is a disparity between being the judgmental harm-doer’s and walking as the truth tellers, not so much in word but in action. If our judgement is keeping someone from seeing God, then we are not walking in truth, nor with Him. I don’t want to be known by the rules I keep, I want to be known by The One that keeps me. Period!

God gave us a perfect savior; A hope despite this broken world. He makes us righteous. I really can’t even make it a day without sin. Sin is between God and I and in the end, all sin is equal. It all drives a wedge between us and Him, but at the end of the day, He loves us anyways. Submission isn’t free from sin, it is an act of surrendering your pride and self sufficiency and acknowledging that “I can’t achieve Heaven without you Lord. Embracing Christ and His death as your only hope.” Hard and easy to do all at once. But He is very helpful. Yes. He is.

Scripture states that we are saved when we proclaim and believe that we are set free by the blood of Christ. Once saved, always saved. It is a very dangerous place to dwell, inside a kind of “judge and jury” of other’s. I choose to take a more humble approach and know that even strong people, even excellent people stumble. Every day.

We have to stop with the right’s and wrong’s and get back to truth. Christians need to LIVE The Word of God in “transparent, less than perfect, need a savior  every single day of my life -because I stink at achieving perfect sin-less-ness without Him” Spending time in The Word, being transparent with God and allowing Him to change us. For His glory!

We need to look beyond the pointed fingers to see the need. To see sorrow in eyes that are haunted. To see anger in eyes that are weary, sick of how hard this world is. See into the eyes that can’t look at us, Eyes that are afraid or ashamed.  We need to be so apparent in our humble (not of our own making) loving kindness (because He has loved us so much) that people are willing to share with us. Willing to trust us.

This world is out of control in many ways, Our world is spinning so fast now. Pain and suffering all around us.

Seriously,  Be a light. Be hope for those that are grasping for a reason to hope.

Be the one that saves the one, like me. God leaves the 99 for the 1. Because the 99 already have a future with Him. He already has the 99 beheld. The one that wanders is more passionately desired and pursued by God than those of us already in His loving Grace.

When you sit in a judgement filled world, trying to protect the values you say you believe in, while you use your words as weapons, as unleashed punishment and sit on a bit of a higher plane, thinking you have this Christianity right, just know that I pray in earnest for you. For you to find the truth.

We need be truth tellers, absolutely. Mostly in our actions. Our tongue is too unpredictable.
God says: Ask, Seek and Knock!

Ask, and you will receive. Search, and you will find. Knock, and the door will be opened for you. Everyone who asks will receive. Everyone who searches will find. And the door will be opened for everyone who knocks. Matthew 7:7-8 

He loves us. He loves us so much. He loves us in our broken down yuck. He loves us in our prideful state. He loves us regardless of how far off the path we have gotten. That is the God I found at the pit of despair. A loving, kind, strong, protective, never-ending presence, pursuing, giant of a God.

Blessings are not financial, they are Him. His peace. Grace and Mercy. Remember…”If it isn’t true for the believer that has to beg for food, or seek to find water for her child, then it isn’t true.” That is the God that is truth. The God that is beyond our circumstances, beyond what is here and now. He is every present, ever knowing, ever loving, always.  He doesn’t change. Not ever.

I don’t know why we reject Him. I know I sure did!  I think it’s partly because we think God makes life rosy, ( His own son suffered terribly, so no, that isn’t truth) I believe it’s because people have really messed up the image of Him. People have done horrible things in His name. But that isn’t God. That isn’t Christ. That is just additional people that need Him, need to really understand who He really is.
Being self reliant lead me down a dark path. Eventually, I had to come to the place where I knew I needed Him, being made whole has changed my world.  It is still changing me. I am still growing and learning and becoming a better Christ follower. But don’t look at me, look at Him. He is the model. I am the one running all over the place!
If you are that one, the one that is hurting and thinking that the way out is death, please seek Him first. Please see that it’s all lies. The idea that it will never get better, that you can’t get through this, that this is too hard. Please talk to me or someone like me. Try God!

“Ask, and the gift is yours. Seek, and you’ll discover. Knock, and the door will be opened for you. For every persistent one will get what he asks for. Every persistent seeker will discover what he longs for. And everyone who knocks persistently will one day find an open door Matthew 7:7-8 TPT.

[a]Ask and keep on asking and it will be given to you; seek and keep on seeking and you will find; knock andkeep on knocking and the door will be opened to you.For everyone who keeps on asking receives, and he who keeps on seeking finds, and to him who keeps on knocking, it will be opened. Matthew 7:7-8 AMP.

 

Bless The Lord

28 May

Trials can make faith really hard sometimes. (Fear. ) it’s been a subject of discussion with several in my circles lately.

David was such a perfect example for us. He showed us how to truly capture our faith even in trial;to focus our praises only to God. David praised Him from fear, pain, loneliness, rejection, illness, betrayal, sorrow, and abundance. Praise is always on his lips.

Everything starts with belief. If you think about it. What we truly believe in our soul fuels our path.

If we believe – truly believe that God is on the throne and has a perfect plan for you, then what’s to fear?

We have it very hard here in America. We have too much. Like Solomon. He was the wisest and richest. He lost God in the process. Women were his downfall but we all have that idol.

My own biggest roadblock is not trusting God, I fear rejection, abandonment probably most of all, it’s then my belief system. My focus. My idol.

When I have a relationship -I put my fear of man in place of fear of God. Fear meaning my awe, my energy, my fears, my thoughts, my time, and hopes are focused there. Idol. Other God.

We all have our idols. Money, success, security, popularity, control, power, love, our kids, exercise, our bodies, women, men; none of us are immune.

It’s important to constantly be in the word, drowning out the world, refocusing in Him, and praising Him. Because even if your world is a hot mess right now- He is not.

He is still “I Am. “

Read Psalm 103 and pray it out loud. Praise Him even in your trial. No matter the hurt, no matter the hardship, no matter the illness, no matter the betrayal.

Tell Him everything in your heart- the good bad and ugly- He knows it all anyways. Then praise Him. For who He is. For who He always has been, regardless of your circumstances.

Amen.

“Bless the LORD, O my soul; And all that is within me, bless His holy name! Bless the LORD, O my soul, And forget not all His benefits: Who forgives all your iniquities, Who heals all your diseases, Who redeems your life from destruction, Who crowns you with lovingkindness and tender mercies, Who satisfies your mouth with good things, So that your youth is renewed like the eagle’s. The LORD executes righteousness And justice for all who are oppressed. He made known His ways to Moses, His acts to the children of Israel. The LORD is merciful and gracious, Slow to anger, and abounding in mercy. He will not always strive with us, Nor will He keep His anger forever. He has not dealt with us according to our sins, Nor punished us according to our iniquities. For as the heavens are high above the earth, So great is His mercy toward those who fear Him; As far as the east is from the west, So far has He removed our transgressions from us. As a father pities his children, So the LORD pities those who fear Him. For He knows our frame; He remembers that we are dust. As for man, his days are like grass; As a flower of the field, so he flourishes. For the wind passes over it, and it is gone, And its place remembers it no more. But the mercy of the LORD is from everlasting to everlasting On those who fear Him, And His righteousness to children’s children, To such as keep His covenant, And to those who remember His commandments to do them. The LORD has established His throne in heaven, And His kingdom rules over all. Bless the LORD, you His angels, Who excel in strength, who do His word, Heeding the voice of His word. Bless the LORD, all you His hosts, You ministers of His, who do His pleasure. Bless the LORD, all His works, In all places of His dominion. Bless the LORD, O my soul!”

‭‭Psalms‬ ‭103:1-22‬ ‭NKJV‬‬

“Good Christian”

14 May
I have been meditating on the vertical nature of sin.
More to the point, our relationship to sin and to God and what this means to our outward walk. This has been so freeing and merciful at the same time. Removing years of false ideas of what it meant to be a “Good Christian”.
I have learned the meaning of why all sin is equal in God’s eyes.  Truly, I tell you this;  Any sin, big or small, is ultimately between us and God. Sin erodes our own relationship with Him, we drift apart from Him. When we drift from Him, we stop living within His beautiful, powerful, mercy-filled loved.
How can we walk like a saved, set free from our bondage to sin (meaning we are washed white as snow, because of Christ’s death on the cross and His resurrection), be the expected “full of light” Christian without staying close to God, eyes on Him? We can’t. We just simply can’t.
When we look away we compare, we judge, the fruits of our relationship to Him, that connection grows dim. We begin to seek other God’s, or we think we are God, and that we control the outcomes; “Look, yes, we did this great thing!”  We try to settle our own scores, we put people in their place, we gossip or tell even the little white lies, we are unforgiving or mean spirited.  Do you see the truth? None  is a fruit of Him within our hearts, and it can’t dwell within the temple (our soul) because it only comes from our closeness to Him. Sadly, robbing us of His merciful gift of grace and peace. What I get hit with deep down, is the ultimate realization that what it really does is robs other’s of seeing the gift of a heart-wrenching, hope-filled, joy-filled beauty of a one on one relationship with Him, our amazing Father, Savior and healer.
It isn’t about being a “better” Christian, or a “good” Christian or a “wiser” Christian, or an evil sinner. It is about dying to self meaning staying eyes focused on Him, seeking after Him first rather than our own pride, hurt, desires, success, busyness, goals, workout, children, etc… Letting go of our own control and self appointed God status. Holier than thou!
Talk to Him. Just talk to Him constantly; About everything. You have no idea how many times I have started a conversation with God, finger pointed at someone who upset me, only to end up seeing how I can be more compassionate or I am also guilty of sin. He leads me, guides me back to humility, grace, acceptance and peace. Every single time. It’s quite powerful. It isn’t always fun, it isn’t always what I want to know, but it’s always true, it’s always good and it’s always healing.

Life hurts and people always mess up. It’s what we do, with or without Christ as our savior. Religion kept you thinking it was about the rules. It’s not! It’s about The Ruler! It isn’t about being “good” or “bad” it’s about being close to the one that gives you grace enough to heal, change, grow, forgive, love through pain and hope. Hope.

I pray to walk a walk that focuses on God, from sun-up til sun-down, to show the world the beauty of surrender. I thank my Father for the grace and mercy He gives because I never achieve that perfection. I pray for humility enough to always be transparent in my journey here, so you know, my heart truly seeks to share His love. My mind, the distractions, the hardships, the ego.. this ego! “My hurts, my offense, my truth, my peace, my wants, my success, my desires, “I deserve it.” Oh dear Lord, please don’t ever give me what I deserve! Please hear my gratitude for not giving me what I deserve, but loving me so much to give me grace I didn’t earn!

Christianity is anyone that believes that Jesus died on that cross and rose from the grave to set us free from our sin. Religion can start to add on to that, but the beginning of that is the truth. If your religion isn’t pointing you to God, to Christ, then it’s not accurate.  God’s word speaks loud and clear to me, and more so the more I spend time in it. He says this to be true. John 3:16.  Christ was born and died for you so you can have a way back to God, even through your sin nature. It’s the only way, because we just simply can’t earn it ourselves! Being saved never said we would never sin again. Seriously, the truth is, if that were true, we would just find a way to mess that up. We need Him always, daily, hourly, minute by minute!

Thank you God! for loving me, just as I am, right where I am at, sinful and goodness, blessed with my own unique gifts, all rolled up in one because of you and for you. Let me be the light that shines in this dark,crazy world. Let me see the finger before it points at others, let me stay close enough to you that I hear “stop, don’t say a word” before my tongue betrays us. Keep my enemy far from me, and give me eyes that see from a place of being so loved, so I can love.  Let me touch other’s by my walk to inspire them to want to know more about this amazing gift of your mercy and grace.  Let me always be humble enough to give you Glory Lord.  I am nothing without you.