Tag Archives: justice

Right Turn

17 Mar

“God is leading you away from danger, Job,to a place free from distress.He is setting your table with the best food.But you are obsessed with whether the godless will be judged. Don’t worry, judgment and justice will be upheld.”
Job 36:16-17

Bam!I relate so much to this.

I have prayed many a prayer this past year for God to right the wrong, for justice to be served. I have cried out to God in judgement several times and every single time, God instead turns it back on me.

As I crossed the bridge one day, I was hurting and said to God,”there will be a reckoning, he will have to answer to this!” The response was instant and not what I thought I would hear. “Do you want to have to answer to all of your sins? Is this what redemption looks like? Cry out for his redemption instead and I will hear your prayer”.

God never lets me wallow in my sinful thinking, even when I want to wallow, but truth is truth and it can’t only apply to part and not to all. God is who God is, all the time, for all of us. He draws near to us when our hearts are broken, when we suffer. He does not, however, encourage wrong thinking.

In Job 36-Elihu is trying to breath the nature of God back into Job.
This is what James meant in 1:2-4 when he tells us to consider it joy when we go through trials. Paul also talks about this in Romans 5:3-5.

God isn’t saying we should be happy when we suffer, but we should rejoice when we suffer in that God is still God and He is still in control.Trust in Him that His way is perfect. He still has the power and always has the best plan for our lives. We may not recognize it right away, or we may not get to walk it out until heaven, but he will and does bless our obedience. Nothing done to us, is about us, how we respond to it, is.

I feel God is pressing this on us. I believe the time is now, for all of us to examine our lives for the un-forgiveness that is there.

When we hold on to resentment, we hurt ourselves. We deprive ourselves of our blessings in our wish for justice. When we hold on to any un-forgiveness, it is a twofold loss. When we focus on what someone did, no matter what that is and when we want to see it made right, or even for them pay for that, we miss out on all that God wants to bless us with. Not only do we miss out on the fullness of what God is trying to bless us with, it also gives Satan an advisory role in our spirit.

Satan will use that place of un-forgiveness to torture us, to manipulate us and to steer us in the wrong direction. It is a powerful, powerful weapon we hand to darkness to use against us, to harm us further. Un-forgiveness is a separation from God. Plain and simple. It is an act of rejection of God, of all the cross was. It is embittered, defiant and self-defeating. We put shackles on our heart, our soul, and our mind when we harbor resentment. Resentment builds and tears down all at once.

I have found in my soul, as I heal and grow in wisdom, that sometimes the spirit of un-forgiveness roots back to the beginning of our lives, where we formed our means of self-protection, our perceptions of how the world works, how people work and our place in it. We learned where our power lies.

Without God, we thought it was in ourselves. Some people have walked with the Lord their whole lives, but this seed can still be firm within them. Our own created demi-god of power in our journey. An Idol.

When we are shown these acts of idolatry and self-importance, and we are able to surrender them back to where they belong, that’s when we are set free, and we are healed.

Surrender is exactly where peace and joy come from. Wisdom, peace, joy and wholeness come from letting go of other’s; what they choose, how they sin, and most importantly, surrendering ourselves entirely to the perfect creator, that is actually in control anyways.

Praying for the one that harmed us is such an act of surrender. Yet, He instructs us clearly to trust Him in all things, and to pray for those that persecute us. To love our enemies. When we can love those that harmed us, not from our own love (or hate) but, from God’s love, then we know we are free indeed; Then we can know true joy, and the blessings with flow with great abundance.

This is my prayer for my brother’s and sister’s; that we pray to always have pure hearts, free from the seeds of fear, resentment, or requirements; I pray we know who we are, that we are loved, accepted and called for great purpose. To let go of all that does not serve our Father, our Savior, our calling. Amen!

But the wisdom from above is first of all pure. It is also peace loving, gentle at all times, and willing to yield to others. It is full of mercy and the fruit of good deeds. It shows no favoritism and is always sincere. James 3:17
But the fruit of the Spirit [the result of His presence within us] is love [unselfish concern for others], joy, [inner] peace, patience [not the ability to wait, but how we act while waiting], kindness, goodness, faithfulness, 23 gentleness, self-control. Galatians 5:22-23 (Amp)

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Set Free

28 Jan

Attending a women’s conference out of town with a friend this weekend, literally broke me, but more importantly, my chains.  We always learn something when we go to these things. This time, I broke free.

God is pushing me out into leadership, and because I have stepped out in faith, into that, He is equipping me. Quickly. I start in 2 weeks. God in his provident way, set the ball in motion.

He knew the roots that were very deep. The roots of unforgiveness, the roots of a heart that somewhere deep down, felt rejected, unloved, unprotected by God himself.

How many of us look at the cross, and because we know our lives, we know our thoughts, our past, feel a bit of trepidation that it just may not apply to us? We seek approval of people instead. Such a dangerous trap that is, as well as completely self-destructive. Or maybe, we believe what people have said over what the cross says.

So many things bring us to this place of unworthiness. Yes… We are all unworthy, we don’t deserve all that He did, but He did it for us anyway…I know, but this goes deeper than that simple fact.

We can know The Word, (please know the word before you think it is all that the radical or new age religious say it is) we can worship Him, we can grab hold of Grace. Then what? How does the cross apply to us?

When we have any, ANY, un-forgiveness in us,( in my case, of God and of myself) even the root we may not even be aware of completely,  we are absolutely not walking in truth. We are not walking in Mercy and Grace. His for us and through us. The cross becomes unimportant as to how it changes us, how we relate to it! The cross almost becomes irrelevant to us. Stay with me here.

There are 2 ways this world skews Christianity, making it very legalistic.   One, the finger pointing, hell and brim-fire, political, name calling, super over-sensitive, everyone is going to hell; Read Jude. This is untruth, this is dangerous, and absolutely defies the cross. Yet I condemn myself and others.

The other is the unchanged Christian. You may have believed all your life, or you become born again and then continue to do whatever you want. The world sees you gossiping, judgemental, drunk, abusive, angry, rude. You don’t read the word and what the bible actually says. You live with your boyfriend, leave your marriage for someone else,  sleep with people you aren’t married to, cheat other’s out of money you owe them, don’t work hard, gossip about and judge others, hate, lie, steal, etc.. and walk in unforgiveness and pretty much do what ever you want. Yet I do this as well.

True, once you are saved, you are saved. Mustard seeds of faith are saved. But there is a moment where we will ALL need to define what the cross means to us.  Shouldn’t that incredible act of sacrifice, if we accept what it means to us, should that not change us, atleast a little? How will you define that question? How did it change you, and what was the purpose of that?

God is not a wish granter.  He is very specific about why He wants your surrender. If you walk in control of your life, not seeking what God says, that is free will. The consequences are yours, and He won’t just magically come in to bless it because his stubborn, spoiled, selfish child wants to do it his own way. He will let you fumble around. He will be beside you, yes, pursuing you, yes, but you are ignoring Him anyways, until you need Him. You are a fair weather friend and would be so hurt by this if someone did it to you. You my friend are walking a lie. You are not walking with God. You are your own God. What is His value to you? Where does He fall into place? Where is your reverence? When you die, are you going to just be entitled to your place there because you said so? Or because HE said so?  Shouldn’t you know what else He said? Not judging, because I do it too! But it is absolute truth!

Surrendering to God’s will is hard! This world is full of free will and this world belongs to the dark. When you submit to His will, seek him first, stay in His word, Listen to Him, you change. You begin to hear his direction, he softens your heart, he keeps you safe, he keeps you close to Him, He gives you supernatural peace that is not of this world.

So back to my unforgiveness.  I knew I had become brittle in a way, I was shattered and maybe a bit bitter, I was so disappointed.In God, in me, in other’s. I had my own Job meltdown brewing! (so, I just saw the correlation, as I am reading Job right now. ) I felt it brewing, and because I felt it, I prayed about it. Make no mistake, it is no coincidence that it was just before the conference. If I pray for Him to change me in to the person He needs me to be, to help me become a better leader, to show me -He will! And He did!

Suddenly, all this bubbles up inside of me, I see it for all that it is, raw un-repented anger and unforgiveness; towards Him, towards other’s, towards myself. The details are private, too vulnerable to share with anyone but Him, and I am left standing there completely raw, completely exposed. Reaching to Him with a trust I absolutely don’t feel, confessing this to a perfect stranger. Darryl Strawberry’s wife, no less!  I went forward for prayer, she happened to be the person that walked over.

This spirit of deep wounds was drawn from the depths of my soul, from my feet and confessed out of my mouth, the release of it an exhausting, gut wrenching, deeply painful moment.  She breathed the Holy Spirit and truth back at me as I released it all, she prayed earnestly over me and finally with me. I knew and heard the words.”It is finished”.  I was drained.

So, you don’t walk away from that moment, like… wow, that was cool. No. you want to crawl into a ball and disappear, sleep for days.

Oh, but my God is so good. He begins to fill that wound up with His truth. He is the balm and His Peace has settled on my soul.

I am still needing to guard myself because that tool that Satan used to get at me, has been his tool for 55 years. Now, I promise you, he won’t have it for 56. I will however be on guard, guarding my heart, my soul from him, because he will turn up his words, and tricks, trying to get me back to that place.

God has equipped me with powerful tools. James 4: 7 reminds us of our power in Christ “ Submit yourselves therefore to God. Resist the devil and he will flee from you. Draw near to God, and he will draw near to you”

What freedom  in the release of a child’s belief that bad things happen because we are bad people; That our worth, is not the same as the rest.He knew my own free will would harm me, He knew other’s would harm me, He knew I would harm other’s. He knew I would struggle so hard to forgive all of these things. He knew I would fight His truth. He knew the lies my enemy  told me my whole life, that there was something wrong with ME, not those that hurt me.  He knew my stubbornness in this, and knew how powerfully great He can use that stubbornness for when He is in control.  He just needed me to submit fully.

I have submitted.  Today, He is here, He is loving me, He is always here. I have placed my full armor on, I have looked sin in the face, have forgiven what has been done, what I have done myself, and my Heavenly Father is back as the whisperer that never leaves me alone, He is back on the throne of my life, and I have told Satan to go back to hell.

In a dramatic way, I want to end this by saying “watch this”!  Amen.