Tag Archives: marriage

Leggo My Ego

16 May

Every day, as I head home, I begin to cry. I wonder what people on the road think of me as they pass.As the days turn into nights, my mind begins to betray me.
Thoughts of what if’s and why’s, my strength turns into insecurity
I wrestle with the words God says about me and who HE is, and begin to listen to other voices.The storm that I allow to be weakness in my heart leaves me wondering what I have done to deserve this.

In my study of Esther, I am realizing something so profound. I see no difference between pride and meekness or insecurity.  If you feel entitled to something you are either going to feel slighted or you are going to want recognition. It is ego. God will take you down from that mountain in a real hurry.  We either lament not having what we thought we deserved or we take credit for what we think we deserve.

Haman in Esther (Esther 6) was an insecure man that longed for recognition. He needed to puff himself  up with false pride and envisioned great honor for himself. He had a very dark heart, clouded by his own needs of entitlement. God humbled him in a moment.

Ego is a tool of Satan whether your ego is bruised or puffed up. You may not be arrogant; You may be insecure instead, but don’t think for a moment that this is humility. It is so ego driven, and because you think it isn’t self-centered, you may feed it more frequently than someone that is arrogant may. You may be easily offended, you may feel slighted more frequently, hurt deeper than most. You may focus more on what you are getting verses what you think you should be getting.

Humility is the opposite. Humility is only full of worship. Humility isn’t self-seeking in any way; It isn’t self-satisfying. Humility isn’t self-deprecating. It is a dying to self (ego)and knowing your worth. How we find true humbling of our self, is to look up to Him in full on worship and faith (obedience), regardless of where the latest trials or successes have taken you.

When you are truly humbled in your experience, though you feel the pain of trial,  you will know you are exactly where you are meant to be on this path of life. Humility let’s see that even though everything looks shattered and war torn, you can breathe. You can sigh deep within your heart and know, really know, that this is the plan. It is good.

It is painfully difficult but it is good.

Letting go of ego, starts with worship. If you read David’s words in Psalms, he often begins with statements of dire conditions and pain of heart. His circumstances are awful. But he turns to praise and worship of who God is.  I am turning to worship. I am worshipping Him for all He has planned and for all He is doing in my heart. He is removing all seeds of ego, He is replacing ego with humble and noble fearlessness*. He is reminding me of His powerful love and mercy. His Grace is pouring down on me in so many ways and when I am lost in ego, I miss it. I don’t want to miss that!

As a woman of faith, I have courage. In Him I can do all things for He gives me strength.  I am brave (in Him). I am strong (in Him). I am loved (by Him). I am purposeful (by Him). I am gifted (by Him). I am not alone (with Him).

I don’t have to earn anything. Not respect, not honor, not my place in Heaven. I am an heiress. I am in the will. It isn’t about what I do. It isn’t about my worth. It isn’t about me at all. It is who He is. It is what He has done. It is His love for me. I am worth more than rubies to him. I am His and He is mine.

Peace like a river. Even in the painful times. I trust in a perfect Father and believe Him and who He tells me He is. He is working out everything for my good. Yeah!

*Noble fearlessness is trusting in a higher purpose for every single what if, and why. The root work for noble in Hebrew is the same as Valor.

[b]A wife of noble character who can find?
    She is worth far more than rubies. Proverbs 31:10

28 And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who[a] have been called according to his purpose Romans 8:28

11 For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Jeremiah 29:11

Advertisements

Deja Vu

13 May

If you have Facebook, you know there is a folder that reminds you of posts from years gone by.  Looking back at 3 years ago, I am watching my world unravel, to the beginning of spiritual warfare that I was not equipped for.

Prior to the spring of 2014,  my faith had matured and I had grown in so many ways.  I was surrounded by strong Godly women and I was doing alright; I was content. I was between trials.

Suddenly,  I found myself in the midst of change, a huge trial, everything was challenged. My daughter decided to move back to Minnesota and I was mourning her move.  My job was unstable and I was struggling terribly financially. I found myself suddenly lonely, for the first time in ages.  Moving into summer, things got worse and by July, I was worn out from the battle.

I honestly didn’t realize the depth of spiritual warfare I was dealing with at the time. It is only in looking back that I see the extent of the battle.

One night in particular I hit a new low.  As I cried out in sheer panic over finances, over my weaknesses, lack of faith, my temptations, a friend sent me a note in the middle of the night. She said I was on her heart that morning and she wanted me to read Isaiah 54. She emphasized Isaiah 54: 5. This is my response to her:

Last night, as I fell asleep. I cried out. I was deeply afflicted with sorrow and guilt and shame over how I am so double minded and feel so abandoned by God. I am surrounded with temptation and I don’t feel strong. I felt so distant from Him. So alone and abandoned, rejected, unwanted, I felt I had failed God in every way. I am weary of being alone and money and I felt like He was mad at me. That I must be such a disappointment to him. As I read Isaiah 54 my heart knew.. He wanted me to know He is there. “Fear not, for you will not be put to shame; And do not feel humiliated, for you will not be disgraced; But you will forget the shame of your youth, And the reproach of your widowhood you will remember no more. 5 “For your husband is your Maker, Whose name is the Lord of hosts; And your Redeemer is the Holy One of Israel, Who is called the God of all the earth. 6 “For the Lord has called you, Like a wife forsaken and grieved in spirit, Even like a wife of one’s youth when she is rejected,” Says your God. 7 “[c]For a brief moment I forsook you, But with great compassion I will gather you. 8 “In an [d]outburst of anger I hid My face from you for a moment, But with everlasting lovingkindness I will have compassion on you,” Says the Lord your Redeemer.

Then, I went the exact opposite direction and began dating my husband.

During that trial,  I didn’t share the depth of my fears and sorrows with my friends. I didn’t tell them all that I was going through. I skimmed the surface and hid the depths of my fear,my shaky faith and loneliness.

Today, I find myself in a similar place. Almost a ‘Groundhogs day’ experience!

I am navigating the grief and pain the end of my marriage brings, and now my daughter is once again preparing to move away from me. This is an excellent move for her and my grandson, but my heart is torn in two.  I am shredded.

But God. But God. He is more than enough.  His love letter to me in Isaiah 54 still stands true.  I know His words are true.  Now I need to walk in it, to trust it completely.

How does one do that? It is a persistent faith;Believing what you don’t see or feel.

You start by sharing the burdens in your heart. You share your faith questions, you humble yourself and admit you are weak in trust, you accept that you are weak and need Him terribly. You let people know your journey. You let them pray over you. You ask the Holy Spirit to pray on your behalf. Then, you seek Him. You seek Him constantly. You pour your heart out to Him at all times. You yell, you cry, you beg, you bargain, you read His word back to Him.

And….you still your words. You quiet your mind and breathe. He is in the quiet. He is in the everything. He is in your tears. The quiet is when He speaks to you.  I can’t tell you the comfort of that time. When You just sit with Him, no words, just stillness.

The rest of Isaiah 54 has such promise. He makes promises to us all the time. He also gave us the free will to choose.

I am putting all my trust in Him whom has never let me down. Even when I falter, even when I run the other direction, He never stops pursuing me, never stops loving me. His covenant is forever.

Amen!

“To me this is like the days of Noah,
    when I swore that the waters of Noah would never again cover the earth.
So now I have sworn not to be angry with you,
    never to rebuke you again.
10 Though the mountains be shaken

    and the hills be removed,
yet my unfailing love for you will not be shaken
    nor my covenant of peace be removed,”
    says the Lord, who has compassion on you.

11 “Afflicted city, lashed by storms and not comforted,
    I will rebuild you with stones of turquoise,[a]
    your foundations with lapis lazuli.
12 I will make your battlements of rubies,
    your gates of sparkling jewels,
    and all your walls of precious stones.
13 All your children will be taught by the Lord,
    and great will be their peace.
14 In righteousness you will be established:
Tyranny will be far from you;
    you will have nothing to fear.
Terror will be far removed;
    it will not come near you.
15 If anyone does attack you, it will not be my doing;
    whoever attacks you will surrender to you.

16 “See, it is I who created the blacksmith
    who fans the coals into flame
    and forges a weapon fit for its work.
And it is I who have created the destroyer to wreak havoc;
17     no weapon forged against you will prevail,
    and you will refute every tongue that accuses you.
This is the heritage of the servants of the Lord,
    and this is their vindication from me,”
declares the Lord.

 

 

One Door Closes

25 Apr

I closed a chapter today.

I sent the “other woman” a letter. This will be my one and only contact of this woman. She is not really a part of my story.  If she knew about me, then I needed to forgive her. If she didn’t know about me, then she needed to know the truth. End of chapter.

What remains in my heart is this deep cry to the body. Cry to the church. Cry to my brothers! Cry to my sisters. Why? Why do you react so harshly to homosexuality and turn a blind eye to the friend engaging in porn? To your friend that sleeps around? To your friend that cheats? To divorce?

There is a war going on. Am I the only one seeing this? I am left to wonder ; Why isn’t my church body standing strong together, men helping men in their struggles with fidelity, with lust, with temptation that seems to be a struggle for the large part of the male church.

Women have so many opportunities to share their hearts. To be sharpened and encouraged by one another; To be supported, and held in times of trial and temptation.We sin in the same ways. I understand this but lust seems to be a stronghold for a vast majority of men.

Men of courage, step up, speak out, speak truth.  We need you desperately. We don’t need your opinion of other’s, we need your leadership and strength. We need your courage.

There is so much temptation, we need our men to help one another. We need the church to speak up about sexual sin and how weak the flesh is. We need to acknowledge that we are carnal, saved by Grace. We need the men of God to lead, support and encourage one another in truth. We women need to openly pray against the darkness that wants to separate.  We women need to pray together for the men of this world to step up. We need to pray for our hearts to be softened to being lead. Biblical leadership is beautiful. Honoring.

Lies cause us so much harm. The seeds of destruction begin with the smallest of lies. Truth is vital to having a relationship with Christ. Not because He expects it.  Satan has free access to all things kept in the dark. When we are truthful, we bring things into “the light”. The truth shall set you free truly means you let go of the bondage that a lie holds on you.

We are lying to ourselves when we look at things outside of ourselves. We can only truly be transformed, redeemed and made whole by Jesus Christ. One body for one Christ.

I long to see righteous men, rising up, leading by truth, love, mostly, by the Spirit. Lord ,I beg it of you. Teach us.

Keep in Step with the Spirit

16 But I say, walk by the Spirit, and you will not gratify the desires of the flesh. 17 For the desires of the flesh are against the Spirit, and the desires of the Spirit are against the flesh, for these are opposed to each other, to keep you from doing the things you want to do. 18 But if you are led by the Spirit, you are not under the law. 19 Now the works of the flesh are evident: sexual immorality, impurity, sensuality, 20 idolatry, sorcery, enmity, strife, jealousy, fits of anger, rivalries, dissensions, divisions, 21 envy,[d] drunkenness, orgies, and things like these. I warn you, as I warned you before, that those who do[e] such things will not inherit the kingdom of God. 22 But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, 23 gentleness, self-control; against such things there is no law. 24 And those who belong to Christ Jesus have crucified the flesh with its passions and desires.

Time For Grace

3 Jul

The Beatitudes:

Blessed are the merciful,
    for they will be shown mercy.
Blessed are the pure in heart,
    for they will see God.
 Blessed are the peacemakers,
    for they will be called children of God. ~Jesus

The past year for me, like most, has been extremes of trials and blessings, but for me,  the lessons of grace and mercy have taken my heart captive.

I have such strong feelings when I feel my fellow believers are being religious, legalistic, unkind or in my opinion, standing in the way of true evangelism. Yet, as soon as I think that way, The Holy Spirit convicts me and shows me my own sin. My own pride. My own legalism in my judgement.

We are supposed to love God, love our fellow Christians and mostly, love our neighbor. This is the fulfillment of the law.

You who are trying to be justified by the law have been alienated from Christ; you have fallen away from grace. For through the Spirit we eagerly await by faith the righteousness for which we hope.For in Christ Jesus neither circumcision nor uncircumcision has any value. The only thing that counts is faith expressing itself through love.

13 You, my brothers and sisters, were called to be free. But do not use your freedom to indulge the flesh[a]; rather, serve one another humbly in love. 14 For the entire law is fulfilled in keeping this one command: “Love your neighbor as yourself. Galatians 5:4-14 

Loving your neighbor doesn’t just mean those that are in your inner circle but rather this includes those that are different from you- the atheist, homosexual, abortionist, muslim. This also includes the guy who disagrees with you, or the guy that just cut you off on the freeway, the girl that was rude to you, the boss that screams at you. It also includes your husband when he is unloving or your wife when she is disrespectful. This is agape love. This is grace. This is where I sin most.

Grace is essential in every single aspect of our journey to become Christ like. Without grace, you truly are not aligned with Christ and your faith is not evident.  If we seek it, we need to give it. Your walk should embrace grace and be evident.  Jesus warned us about Spiritual pride. 4″ Therefore, whoever takes the lowly position of this child is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven.” Matthew 18:4, 10 So you also, when you have done everything you were told to do, should say, ‘We are unworthy servants; we have only done our duty.’” Luke 17:10 

So before we can walk in grace, we absolutely must humble ourselves. God teaches us in His own way, in His own time, and The Living Word breathes truth into us, over and over again, we grow, we soften, we learn, as that knowledge is shown to us, by the Father.

Humility is essential to growth, to love, to grace, to salvation. Without it, we can’t possibly understand how to love as Christ loves us; Our ego fights this, our free will fights this.

We are sinners. If we are judging the sin in other’s, we take a step away from humility,  from grace and from Christ. Before you hate the sin in other’s you must first hate your own sin and your own sin nature. Ask forgiveness for your own sins. Let Him walk you through your own refinement. This is faith. This is how God can begin to change the world, first within us. Then through us.

After all, He loved us first. All of us.

16 For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life. 17 For God did not send his Son into the world to condemn the world, but to save the world through him. John 3:16-17

I have recently had my own major lessons and convicted misteps in grace. Being hurt by family and/or family of believers,  I being shocked by the dishonor, blatent unkindness and later, the untruth and slander that was exposed. responded with protective anger. Especially at the cruelty that crushed the spirit of someone I care about.  There is a hurt that goes so deep when the hurt comes from family and/or our family of believers. It is more unexpected in some way. We walk more transparently with our fellow believers, or we should anyhow.

But Christ himself walked everything before us and he expects us to stay focused on him and on grace.

39 But I tell you, do not resist an evil person. If anyone slaps you on the right cheek, turn to them the other cheek also. Matthew 5:39

He teaches us how to stay focused on what truly matters in our journey to eternity. We can’t care about what others think of us. God has a different expectation. His approval is all we truly need.

26 “If anyone comes to me and does not hate father and mother, wife and children, brothers and sisters—yes, even their own life—such a person cannot be my disciple.” Luke 14:26  

As with all scripture, you must read the whole in which the context is taken Jesus didn’t mean to “hate” your family but rather this is a warning that walking a Christian life is difficult. We must love God first and be willing to lose all the rest, in the end, for that love. Jesus loved the law, including to honor your mother and father. but He was very clear:

36 “Teacher, which is the greatest commandment in the Law?”

37 Jesus replied: “‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.’[c] 38 This is the first and greatest commandment. 39 And the second is like it: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’[d] 40 All the Law and the Prophets hang on these two commandments.” Matthew 22:36-40

In the end, humble, forgiving grace is essential to our journey. Grace doesn’t approve of, enable or minimize sin. Grace doesn’t decide forgiveness of sin, Jesus did that on the cross for us. It is not our job to convict, nor judge. That is the Holy Spirits job. Justice is not ours. Humility says, if justice were served, I would be unworthy to receive the mercy and grace of our Lord’s crucifixion.

When our fellow Christian sins, (not the unsaved), like we do ourselves…we must help them back to God’s truth, even if it is our spouse. We submit to God first. If our fellow believer, whether friend, child or spouse is hurtful or walking away from alignment in Christ  we lovingly speak truth, sometimes it is a must, but it also must include acknowledgement of forgiveness, and our own need for forgiveness and grace.  Ultimately, it can cost rejection, but if it is in line with Christ, it is worth it.

When the world walks in sin, like we do ourselves, we must step out of discipleship and into evangelism. Jesus was a revolutionary teacher of peace and of LOVE in a time of arrogant legalism and religious politics. Truth be told, times were very politically extreme like it is today. If we aren’t perfect, like He was, which we are not, we can’t have the same righteous anger. If we aren’t transparent and humble, walking in grace and love, then we are not following the words of Christ. Our words and actions at all times are our evangelism. If they aren’t in line with scripture, we have too much work to do on ourselves before we put ourselves in a role of leadership. Period.

In the end, Grace wins.  I think The Message version sums it up best.

43-47 “You’re familiar with the old written law, ‘Love your friend,’ and its unwritten companion, ‘Hate your enemy.’ I’m challenging that. I’m telling you to love your enemies. Let them bring out the best in you, not the worst. When someone gives you a hard time, respond with the energies of prayer, for then you are working out of your true selves, your God-created selves. This is what God does. He gives his best—the sun to warm and the rain to nourish—to everyone, regardless: the good and bad, the nice and nasty. If all you do is love the lovable, do you expect a bonus? Anybody can do that. If you simply say hello to those who greet you, do you expect a medal? Any run-of-the-mill sinner does that.

48 “In a word, what I’m saying is, Grow up. You’re kingdom subjects. Now live like it. Live out your God-created identity. Live generously and graciously toward others, the way God lives toward you.”

 

More Than Love

29 Jan

Deciding whether to commit to or to end a relationship is a serious, but important question that anyone that has ever been in a relationship has to ask. This can be so difficult and honestly, requires many decisions, not just a broad question of do I love Him/Her.

Not asking the hard questions is not only irresponsible, it is dangerous. You may love someone, but commitment is far more than love. There are certain things to consider that may help in making the best decision.

When someone hurts us, we naturally want to share our hurt with someone but be choosy and think long and hard before you overshare your concerns with those that love you most. While you may get over what someone does, they may not. This can be unwise as it may slant any future decision making advice you may need from those that know you best.

A Pastor, a counselor, a couple you respect, with no emotional tie to you, would be a great place to start when seeking advise about concerns you may have, any fears or issues that may keep you from taking the next step towards or away from your partner.

Pray, Pray, Pray!

Do NOT skip this step. Talk to God. He is the most objective listener. Lay your heart and your future at His feet and sleep on it for a while. Give God your time. Spend time in the word. Pour your thoughts out to Him. Pray for discernment and wisdom, (HIS), then be quiet and allow Him to answer you. Do not be impatient. Let Him work on your heart or let him guide your wisdom. He will.

Take time to do your lists. Like prayer, do NOT skip this step.

First be general and just start writing down anything you love, like, dislike, or feel may be a red flag. Then rate them as a pro, con, good quality or area of concern.
Then, go deeper…Dig deep and be completely transparent and honest with yourself. Take everything into consideration. Does he/she bring positive or negative consequences or concerns in the areas of career, finances, faith, personality,are they positive or negative, if you are raising children, what are the concerns and consequences of behaviors or personalities with your children: How will this affect your lifestyle, your hobbies, community involvements, alone time. What are the potential lifestyle changes, will they add to or detract from your life. *note: do this when you are not upset, and not when you are high in love. Do this when you are able to truly be open and objective with yourself.

You should have a clear idea forming of what your concerns are and what you can let go of. I feel I must clarify this here. If you have been in abusive or unhealthy relationships in the past, take your list to a professional. Make sure you are not making choices out of habit, overlooking or not ranking a red flag, a red flag. Sadly, when we make those mistakes over and over, we have to take the bull by the horn and seek a professional to advocate for us until we are strong and sure of our own ability to advocate for ourselves.

Where there are behaviors that are red flags, and you choose to move forward, then you must write out clear and concise rules of engagement, a clear boundary of behavior that is acceptable and behavior that is not and concise consequences for behavior that is not healthy.

Behaviors that suggest a need for a clear and defined boundary/consequence are abuse of any kind, cheating, drugs,alcohol, gambling, porn. Set the boundary, and if they cannot abide by the contract, you cannot overlook or make exceptions. You must decide to end the relationship and put that in writing as the consequence. Then you BOTH need to abide by the rules.

Finally, Let go of what doesn’t matter. The best part about making a deep list is that you seek wisdom, discernment, with open and objective analysis. Make a logical decision that just may go against your emotion or your feelings for someone. If you find the good far outweighs the bad, then you have your answer. If you find the bad outweighs the good, then you have your answer. If you find it is somewhere in between, you have to explore, ask questions, set boundaries and seek help to make your decision.

Love is not enough and love will not sustain a poorly thought out, bad relationship. The level of success in your relationships depends greatly on your willingness to be honest and thoughtful about who you choose to commit yourself to.

Till Death Is A Very Long Time

6 Jan

I have found the one whom my soul loves. Solomon 3:4

There are many ways in life that God will use to guide us, to direct our steps. He will show His desire for our lives and even speak to us in a nudge or thought.

When we spend time in our prayer life, asking God to direct our steps, when we submit our longing and the outcome to each obedient step, the road will be full of God-incidences or shall I say, confirmation that God’s will is being done. He is evident.

Being prayerful and spending time in scripture, there is a connection to the Almighty, MOST of the time, that sort of just supernaturally guides our steps, with scriptural confirmation of the truth. There are times we are left alone, to strengthen our faith, to learn some tools we will need.

But God…God always remains near, even when He is quiet.

When it comes to our journey, but more specifically, relationship(s), present or future, God has spoken. There are scriptural answers to our lives. I find myself prayerfully asking God, is my relationship Your plan for my life, is this the one You intend for me?
Scripturally, He has spelled out His plan in that area. He says, He is more than enough for me. He is the husband to my singleness. He is my provider. God doesn’t need me to marry. He said it wasn’t good for Adam to be alone, but also shows us He is near to the broken hearted.

What I have shared with the Holy Spirit, in my singleness,proved His promise and His provision. He fulfilled my desire for my helpmate, my companion, my leader, my guide. So, no. God didn’t bring you a spouse, a soul mate.

What Scripture will tell you, if you cant remain pure, it is better to marry; to remain Holy. If I am choosing to become part of a relationship, then yes, marriage should best be the focus of that journey. Sin is too great a risk. When we choose to date, we begin a bit of a self-fulfilling path.

God will not remove someone we keep close at hand, He will allow us our free will. He also would never tell us to marry someone. This is why we need to be wise. We need to seek His wisdom for our decisions.

If whom we marry is our own free will, our own choice, you must realize you alone are choosing. Choose wisely, as this person will become a part of your journey with God.

Choose wisely with careful consideration.

Guard your heart and mind.

When you choose to begin to date, be very cautious. Move ever so slowly. Don’t marry too quickly. Seek to know a person. Women, do not submit to man that is not your husband. You have The Father to be obedient to. Let that man find you there.

As your relationship grows, it is imperative to keep God at the center. It is with God that you will remain strong in determining whom is fit to journey with you. God at the center will allow you to walk away from a love that will detract from your relationship with Christ, not lift it higher. Never fear being alone. God is enough. He always has been. Fulfillment comes from us reciprocating that relationship.

Being alone can be awful at times, do not let loneliness drive you or love can become your idol. God is enough.

Love is a verb. God wants us, equips us, instructs us and encourages us to love others. Not self-seeking but to give, not to just one to but to all.

First and foremost, be equally yoked. Choose a Christian.

Without that shared belief, your marriage will struggle for success.

Keep your eyes wide open for yellow or red-flags: Does your potential spouse have an anger issue, do they lie, do they drink too much, spend money too freely,too frugal, are they controlling or gamble, do they pray with you, do they leave you wanting, do they lift you or bring you down?

Always remember, we will never change anyone. God will never change someone for us. He will pursue them, but He won’t perform magic acts. If someone is giving you pause now, this will not get better with marriage. Your prayer for them will not change them, it may inspire them to change but it will not change them.

Listen to that wisdom in your gut, that is the truth, that is God. Don’t ask God to show you or to nudge you in the right direction. What you are needing is wisdom, you need to seek the wisdom of scripture, of what God has laid out for your journey.

Seek God for strength to follow His leadings, to listen to His wisdom, to not fear being alone. Stay close to Him.

Spend time in prayer and in the Word.

Sometimes we know the truth, yet, because we love, we cling to “signs” that we are convinced God is giving us, the signs that He wants us to move forward. What God won’t do, is tell you whom to marry. He will tell you HOW to be married, but He won’t tell you.. “this is the one”.

Contrary to what people will say,aside from the sin of premarital sex, there is great wisdom of remaining pure in a relationship. Without purity, you attach. With attachment comes double thinking. The longing of your heart for this relationship to align your heart with God will make you do all sorts of manipulations to make it look “right”. We will convince ourselves, this relationship is right for us. First though we have to ignore the concerns and simply just focus on the love. When you are not pure, it isn’t the sin that separates you, it is the result that separates you. You cloud the path with mixed desire. You will overlook red flags, for the sake of not losing the love.

God has many beautiful things in store for our lives. Some may include what we seek here, some may not, but the promise for the future is amazing.

Pray, seek biblical truth, trust your instincts, be brave, surround yourself with wise people, and talk to God. All the time.

Forever is a very long time to spend with someone. God will not and has not told you this is the one. You are telling God, this is the one my heart loves… and you lay it at the Cross and ask Him to bless your choice. There is a very big difference.

“Now to the unmarried and the widows I say: It is good for them to stay unmarried, as I do. But if they cannot control themselves, they should marry, for it is better to marry than to burn with passion.”I Corinthians 7:8-9

“You will be called Sought After.” Isaiah 62:12

“You are precious and honored in my sight.” Isaiah 43:4

“See, I have engraved you on the palms of my hands.” Isaiah 49:16

“Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.I Corinthians 13:4-7

Before You Go

5 Aug

If a house is divided against itself, that house cannot stand.~ Mark 3:25 NIV

The Church family, like a safe marriage will go through times that simply don’t make us “happy”. I pray that you look within yourselves for the source of that unhappiness before you act on that feeling. In quitting a thing…there is a huge piece of the pie missing. Commitment.

First of all, marriage and church is meant to help us stumble along the journey to become Holy. To mature and grow in our faith and relationship with God. To prepare us to be the Bride/Groom of Christ in Heaven.

Do your interactions and actions towards a solution match your level of energy spent in your unhappiness. (It is important to add that God never intended for people to be abused in a marriage or a church so I want that clear…People need to be safe, in those instances, leave.)

Commitment is something that isn’t about feeling “happy”. It is change and it is boring, it is arguing and crying and loving and liking and giving and refusing to give another inch sometimes. It is laughing and watching and talking and barely speaking. It is human and it is forgiving. It is about staying when it’s tough.

It is about the whole, not the moments. It’s about seeing who we are supposed to be, where we need to grow, where we need to accept and give Grace and Mercy to one another. It is about agreeing to disagree sometimes as long as it is biblical truth. It is forbearance,because we are all so fallible.

It isn’t about the immediate. It is about building a thing. Starting with foundation. Sometimes you need to rebuild the foundation to get it strong again. You may not always want to be somewhere, but commitment is a promise that gets you through to the other side. To another plateau of enriched learning and growth. To new joy and acceptance. Today, most people leave at the most important parts and never fully understand the blessing of working it out.

If you are led in a different direction, if you are not being “fed” at church, happy in your marriage, there are many questions you need to pray about, and seek answers to.

God is very specific about speaking against and dividing a church. I am not a fan of divorce and neither is God.

There are great reasons to leave a church. I am linking several great articles. I encourage you to read, pray, seek to rectify. Honor your commitment or at best, evaluate your commitment.

Romans 12:3
For by the grace given me I say to every one of you: Do not think of yourself more highly than you ought, but rather think of yourself with sober judgment, in accordance with the faith God has distributed to each of you.

1 Corinthians 4:17
For this reason I have sent to you Timothy, my son whom I love, who is faithful in the Lord. He will remind you of my way of life in Christ Jesus, which agrees with what I teach everywhere in every church.

1 Corinthians 10:32
Do not cause anyone to stumble, whether Jews, Greeks or the church of God–

1 Corinthians 11:16
If anyone wants to be contentious about this, we have no other practice–nor do the churches of God.

1 Corinthians 11:34
Anyone who is hungry should eat something at home, so that when you meet together it may not result in judgment. And when I come I will give further directions.

1 Corinthians 14:33
For God is not a God of disorder but of peace–as in all the congregations of the Lord’s people.

2 Corinthians 8:18
And we are sending along with him the brother who is praised by all the churches for his service to the gospel.

2 Corinthians 11:28
Besides everything else, I face daily the pressure of my concern for all the churches.

Galatians 1:22
I was personally unknown to the churches of Judea that are in Christ.

1 Thessalonians 2:14
For you, brothers and sisters, became imitators of God’s churches in Judea, which are in Christ Jesus: You suffered from your own people the same things those churches suffered from the Jews

2 Thessalonians 1:4
Therefore, among God’s churches we boast about your perseverance and faith in all the persecutions and trials you are enduring.

http://www.churchleaders.com/pastors/pastor-articles/148839-how-to-leave-a-church-well
http://thegospelcoalition.org/blogs/kevindeyoung/2010/07/23/good-reasons-for-moving-on