Tag Archives: remain

Finding Light in the Dark

9 Jun

As we hear about so many suicides, I think about all that I have walked in the nearly 8 years since my overwhelming experience with God; The night that changed everything.  July 9,2010.

What if?  What if I had not decided to go to Friday night church. What if I hadn’t told Pastor Jeff my plan. The plan I made earlier that week. What if Sue and Jeff hadn’t spent the evening talking with me, and praying with me? What if God had not intervened.

What I understand is the blackness. I understand the desire to not feel so much pain any longer, to not feel like a burden or invisible. To not feel so wrong and out of place. To not feel plastic in a plastic world. To not feel discardable. (is that a word?). I understand the isolation of being strong and not telling. No one knew.

What I found was an eye opening, amazing love from and for a God I finally believed was real. Everything crashed down around me and I had nothing left. I was at rock bottom. What I found there was Him. In all His sweetness and love, I found the beginning of a love for a creation He called Beckie. I found a purpose.

What I found was a peace that settle so completely on my soul that night. By morning I was walking on sunshine; From the pit of despair to pure joy. Free.

What felt like a bottomless black, a pain-filled nothingness; morphed instantly into a joy beyond measure. I found my redemption, my forgiveness, the promises of true forever. Hope.

God breathed new life into my weary soul.  I am one of the blessed ones. Blessed to be a blessing.

My sweet friend committed suicide when we were 19. I loved Julie and it broke my heart when she left us. I  still talk to her, still think of her so often. My friend Ron, just took his life 4 years ago this summer. My son, who loves Jesus deeply, through his own journey with coming to terms with his homosexuality, walked a depressed and difficult path. He didn’t come to terms with his own path until he was 31 and it has cost him much in this world. He once told me “if you knew who I was, you would hate me”.  He had his attempts, and many trials. This world is sure unkind to those that don’t fit the world’s view of “acceptable”, those who’s sin is obvious. Especially the saved only by Grace,from their own ugly sin” Christian world.

As christian’s, there is a disparity between being the judgmental harm-doer’s and walking as the truth tellers, not so much in word but in action. If our judgement is keeping someone from seeing God, then we are not walking in truth, nor with Him. I don’t want to be known by the rules I keep, I want to be known by The One that keeps me. Period!

God gave us a perfect savior; A hope despite this broken world. He makes us righteous. I really can’t even make it a day without sin. Sin is between God and I and in the end, all sin is equal. It all drives a wedge between us and Him, but at the end of the day, He loves us anyways. Submission isn’t free from sin, it is an act of surrendering your pride and self sufficiency and acknowledging that “I can’t achieve Heaven without you Lord. Embracing Christ and His death as your only hope.” Hard and easy to do all at once. But He is very helpful. Yes. He is.

Scripture states that we are saved when we proclaim and believe that we are set free by the blood of Christ. Once saved, always saved. It is a very dangerous place to dwell, inside a kind of “judge and jury” of other’s. I choose to take a more humble approach and know that even strong people, even excellent people stumble. Every day.

We have to stop with the right’s and wrong’s and get back to truth. Christians need to LIVE The Word of God in “transparent, less than perfect, need a savior  every single day of my life -because I stink at achieving perfect sin-less-ness without Him” Spending time in The Word, being transparent with God and allowing Him to change us. For His glory!

We need to look beyond the pointed fingers to see the need. To see sorrow in eyes that are haunted. To see anger in eyes that are weary, sick of how hard this world is. See into the eyes that can’t look at us, Eyes that are afraid or ashamed.  We need to be so apparent in our humble (not of our own making) loving kindness (because He has loved us so much) that people are willing to share with us. Willing to trust us.

This world is out of control in many ways, Our world is spinning so fast now. Pain and suffering all around us.

Seriously,  Be a light. Be hope for those that are grasping for a reason to hope.

Be the one that saves the one, like me. God leaves the 99 for the 1. Because the 99 already have a future with Him. He already has the 99 beheld. The one that wanders is more passionately desired and pursued by God than those of us already in His loving Grace.

When you sit in a judgement filled world, trying to protect the values you say you believe in, while you use your words as weapons, as unleashed punishment and sit on a bit of a higher plane, thinking you have this Christianity right, just know that I pray in earnest for you. For you to find the truth.

We need be truth tellers, absolutely. Mostly in our actions. Our tongue is too unpredictable.
God says: Ask, Seek and Knock!

Ask, and you will receive. Search, and you will find. Knock, and the door will be opened for you. Everyone who asks will receive. Everyone who searches will find. And the door will be opened for everyone who knocks. Matthew 7:7-8 

He loves us. He loves us so much. He loves us in our broken down yuck. He loves us in our prideful state. He loves us regardless of how far off the path we have gotten. That is the God I found at the pit of despair. A loving, kind, strong, protective, never-ending presence, pursuing, giant of a God.

Blessings are not financial, they are Him. His peace. Grace and Mercy. Remember…”If it isn’t true for the believer that has to beg for food, or seek to find water for her child, then it isn’t true.” That is the God that is truth. The God that is beyond our circumstances, beyond what is here and now. He is every present, ever knowing, ever loving, always.  He doesn’t change. Not ever.

I don’t know why we reject Him. I know I sure did!  I think it’s partly because we think God makes life rosy, ( His own son suffered terribly, so no, that isn’t truth) I believe it’s because people have really messed up the image of Him. People have done horrible things in His name. But that isn’t God. That isn’t Christ. That is just additional people that need Him, need to really understand who He really is.
Being self reliant lead me down a dark path. Eventually, I had to come to the place where I knew I needed Him, being made whole has changed my world.  It is still changing me. I am still growing and learning and becoming a better Christ follower. But don’t look at me, look at Him. He is the model. I am the one running all over the place!
If you are that one, the one that is hurting and thinking that the way out is death, please seek Him first. Please see that it’s all lies. The idea that it will never get better, that you can’t get through this, that this is too hard. Please talk to me or someone like me. Try God!

“Ask, and the gift is yours. Seek, and you’ll discover. Knock, and the door will be opened for you. For every persistent one will get what he asks for. Every persistent seeker will discover what he longs for. And everyone who knocks persistently will one day find an open door Matthew 7:7-8 TPT.

[a]Ask and keep on asking and it will be given to you; seek and keep on seeking and you will find; knock andkeep on knocking and the door will be opened to you.For everyone who keeps on asking receives, and he who keeps on seeking finds, and to him who keeps on knocking, it will be opened. Matthew 7:7-8 AMP.

 

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Bless The Lord

28 May

Trials can make faith really hard sometimes. (Fear. ) it’s been a subject of discussion with several in my circles lately.

David was such a perfect example for us. He showed us how to truly capture our faith even in trial;to focus our praises only to God. David praised Him from fear, pain, loneliness, rejection, illness, betrayal, sorrow, and abundance. Praise is always on his lips.

Everything starts with belief. If you think about it. What we truly believe in our soul fuels our path.

If we believe – truly believe that God is on the throne and has a perfect plan for you, then what’s to fear?

We have it very hard here in America. We have too much. Like Solomon. He was the wisest and richest. He lost God in the process. Women were his downfall but we all have that idol.

My own biggest roadblock is not trusting God, I fear rejection, abandonment probably most of all, it’s then my belief system. My focus. My idol.

When I have a relationship -I put my fear of man in place of fear of God. Fear meaning my awe, my energy, my fears, my thoughts, my time, and hopes are focused there. Idol. Other God.

We all have our idols. Money, success, security, popularity, control, power, love, our kids, exercise, our bodies, women, men; none of us are immune.

It’s important to constantly be in the word, drowning out the world, refocusing in Him, and praising Him. Because even if your world is a hot mess right now- He is not.

He is still “I Am. “

Read Psalm 103 and pray it out loud. Praise Him even in your trial. No matter the hurt, no matter the hardship, no matter the illness, no matter the betrayal.

Tell Him everything in your heart- the good bad and ugly- He knows it all anyways. Then praise Him. For who He is. For who He always has been, regardless of your circumstances.

Amen.

“Bless the LORD, O my soul; And all that is within me, bless His holy name! Bless the LORD, O my soul, And forget not all His benefits: Who forgives all your iniquities, Who heals all your diseases, Who redeems your life from destruction, Who crowns you with lovingkindness and tender mercies, Who satisfies your mouth with good things, So that your youth is renewed like the eagle’s. The LORD executes righteousness And justice for all who are oppressed. He made known His ways to Moses, His acts to the children of Israel. The LORD is merciful and gracious, Slow to anger, and abounding in mercy. He will not always strive with us, Nor will He keep His anger forever. He has not dealt with us according to our sins, Nor punished us according to our iniquities. For as the heavens are high above the earth, So great is His mercy toward those who fear Him; As far as the east is from the west, So far has He removed our transgressions from us. As a father pities his children, So the LORD pities those who fear Him. For He knows our frame; He remembers that we are dust. As for man, his days are like grass; As a flower of the field, so he flourishes. For the wind passes over it, and it is gone, And its place remembers it no more. But the mercy of the LORD is from everlasting to everlasting On those who fear Him, And His righteousness to children’s children, To such as keep His covenant, And to those who remember His commandments to do them. The LORD has established His throne in heaven, And His kingdom rules over all. Bless the LORD, you His angels, Who excel in strength, who do His word, Heeding the voice of His word. Bless the LORD, all you His hosts, You ministers of His, who do His pleasure. Bless the LORD, all His works, In all places of His dominion. Bless the LORD, O my soul!”

‭‭Psalms‬ ‭103:1-22‬ ‭NKJV‬‬

Harbor

5 Apr

No human wisdom or understanding or plan can stand against the LORD. Proverbs 21:30

I am sitting in meditation after my morning readings. I am completely blown away that God still even wants us. These Israelites are so evil. As I walk through Judges, it consists of these cycles of breakthrough, strength and redemptive faith, restoring what was promised only to fall away to sin and worship other God’s again. It cycles over and over. God never wearies, and we never stop messing up!

As I look at my own life, the choices I have made, and will continue to make; the times I have been so devoted to seeking truth and wisdom, rather than thinking I had the answers, to the times that even within minutes my mind (my heart) betrays me.
Isaiah 6 starts out with Isaiah standing in the presence of God himself. He is overwhelmed with his own dark heart,

5 So I said: “Woe is me, for I am undone!
Because I am a man of unclean lips,
And I dwell in the midst of a people of unclean lips;
For my eyes have seen the King,
The LORD of hosts.” Isaiah 6:5

God doesn’t just hear what we say outloud, he is aware of your heart and intentions even before your words are ever spoken, even if you never speak a word.

4 You know what I am going to say
even before I say it, LORD. Psalm 139:4

 

Our hearts are full of corners and closets. Like Isaiah, we will stand before the King one day. What is in our hearts will be revealed to us for all that it is. Sometimes I get a glimpse, when I am feeling close to God, when I feel I am being obedient, I get that glimpse of the dark that still hides in every corner. This is why we need our precious Jesus. These things are not a surprise to God.

45 People are known in this same way. Out of the virtue stored in their hearts, good and upright people will produce good fruit. But out of the evil hidden in their hearts, evil ones will produce what is evil. For the overflow of what has been stored in your heart will be seen by your fruit and will be heard in your words. Luke 6:45 (TPT)

We can’t fool God. He knows if we are being lead by right or wrong motives; jealousy, encouragement, judgement, love or hate, lies or truth, peace or war. He sees it all.

He knows before we say a word if we intend to honor, respect, guide, or build others up and He knows when our heart wants to harm, derail, disrespect, undermine or hurt others. Even if our words are unspoken, even if we never act on these things.

“Harbor in your heart” means you keep it safe within your heart. What do you shelter in the corners? He tells us to ask Him to show us:

Psalm 19:14  (TPT)
14 So may the words of my mouth, my meditation-thoughts,
and every movement of my heart be always pure and pleasing,
acceptable before your eyes,
my only Redeemer, my Protector-God.

The promise is given to us, from Him, Ask and you shall receive: Matthew 7:7. We can ask for God to show us everything that lies in our hearts and to help us remove it. But I warn you, it is not always pleasant, but always, so very worth it, so redemptive, so healing.

Christ takes away the sins power to grow and fester inside of us.  Like with Isaiah We will never have to fight this battle alone. We just have to spend time before Him, honest with ourselves that He already knows every single thought dwelling in our hearts. Standing before Him with complete willingness to change and be transformed. Humility like that is hard! Because from that request comes truth and it can be painful as He pulls the rooted weeds from deep inside of you.

6 Then one of the seraphim flew to me, having in his hand a live coal which he had taken with the tongs from the altar. 7 And he touched my mouth with it, and said:
“Behold, this has touched your lips;
Your iniquity is taken away,
And your sin purged.”

Isaiah 6:6-7

Forgiveness

11 Mar

“It’s the hardest thing to give away
And the last thing on your mind today
It always goes to those who don’t deserve
It’s the opposite of how you feel
When the pain they caused is just too real
Takes everything you have to say the word
It’ll clear the bitterness away
It can even set a prisoner free
There is no end to what its power can do
So let it go and be amazed by what you see through eyes of grace
The prisoner that it really frees is you”
Matthew West- ‘Forgiveness’

Forgiveness as a noun is defined simply as “the action or process of forgiving or being forgiven.’

The ability to forgive (the verb) becomes far more challenging as the measure of what’s in need of forgiving is far and wide, forgetting a birthday is a far cry from murder.

However deep the wounding is, forgiveness remains the same. What’s perceived to have been done or has been to us, doesn’t matter in terms of what is required, it remains the exact same teaching. The challenge of course is on us and depends on the level of loss or hurt.

When someone harms us, causes deep wounding, takes things away that can never be replaced, the action of forgiving is far more complex, and there are so many layers that have to be processed.   Knowing we need to forgive and actually being able to do it are two different things. Knowing something, is separate from our hearts ability to grip it, let alone do it.

It is so difficult when we are asked to forgive someone that isn’t sorry, or forgive what can never be replaced.  From a place of suffering and processing naturally from a healthy way, there can come that place where we want to see justice served and we want to see some semblance of suffering like we have suffered.  This has to be recognized as our own slippery place, in a way, we are trying to be God or our wish for punishment, logical or not, can become our God, our idol. You have to guard your heart and “capture your thoughts” by not allowing your mind to dwell on it; refocusing instead on Him who forgave us all our trespasses. Trust God with the one that caused the hurt. It is His.

If we are lost in our thoughts of something, it becomes our idol instead of Him who never harms, never sways from truth, never breaks a promise.

I desperately want to have the faith of Abraham. The steady, knowing faith that believes in every promise of God without falter, not just in theory, but walking, talking, living it outloud faith.  Abraham knew even before he went to the alter to sacrifice his beloved son, that God would provide the lamb instead.

Genesis 22:8 (NIV)Abraham answered, “God himself will provide the lamb for the burnt offering, my son.” And the two of them went on together.

Nothing that comes to us, is a surprise to God. He has approved each test. He has also equipped us, given us our instructions as to how to process every single trial. He brings alongside of us, people that will speak this truth back to us when we need to hear it. His word is true, even if we don’t rely, believe or walk in them at all times. Psalm 18:30  says (KJV)”As for God, his way is perfect: the word of the Lord is tried: he is a buckler to all those that trust in him.”

Buckler is a promise in one word. (“small, round shield used to ward off blows,” ) He is our buckler! I love this word! He is all we need. He protects us and shields us from blows. When we trust Him, no weapon formed against us can win.  His promise is justice, truth, love, mercy and holiness all wrapped up in one.  When we lean in to that and let go of hurts, let go of the free will of others and take nothing personal. When we do not give to Satan in unforgiveness, what is meant to give to God in glory and trust, His mercy is beyond enough. His goodness and tenderness replaces the hurt with amazing peace.

You are not going to forget things that have rocked you to your core, but to forgive this is not just good for you, it is a requirement of our faith. He expects us to forgive other’s, it is His instruction and our entire faith is centered on this. The Cross reminds us every day.

When we realize that nothing else matters, but who God is and says He is; That Satan can only mess with our heart and mind if we agree to let him, we can began walking out in freedom. We literally have to enter an agreement with the devil in order to believe the lies he tells us.

Scripture is very clear about who God is, who we are in Him, because we are called, because He loves us. Because of that fact, we must, must release our hurts, and those that hurt us back to Him. Forgiving what has been done and those that have done against.

Because God forgave us long before we ever said “Forgive me”.

Psalm 18:30(AMP)
As for God, His way is blameless.
The word of the Lord is tested [it is perfect, it is faultless];
He is a shield to all who take refuge in Him.

Lamentations 3:22-23(AMP)
It is because of the Lord’s loving kindnesses that we are not consumed,
Because His [tender] compassions never fail.
They are new every morning;
Great and beyond measure is Your faithfulness.

Psalm 139:23-24 (TPT)

God, I invite your searching gaze into my heart.
Examine me through and through;
find out everything that may be hidden within me.
Put me to the test and sift through all my anxious cares.
See if there is any path of pain I’m walking on,
and lead me back to your glorious, everlasting ways—
the path that brings me back to you.

Hebrews 10:17(AMP)
“And their sins and their lawless acts
I will remember no more [no longer holding their sins against them].”

Hebrews 8:12(TPT)
For I will demonstrate my mercy to them
and will forgive their evil deeds,
and never remember again their sins.”

Footnotes:
The Aramaic can be translated “I will make atonement for their evil.”

John 10:27(AMP)
The sheep that are My own hear My voice and listen to Me; I know them, and they follow Me.

Jeremiah 33:3(AMP)‘Call to Me and I will answer you, and tell you [and even show you] great and mighty things, [things which have been confined and hidden], which you do not know and understand and cannot distinguish.

Reminder of Love

11 Feb

This is huge!! God has suddenly shown me and is giving me huge understanding. All 3 of my studies have collided today. It is so powerful.
I’m reading –
the Bible and today is Exodus 19-20
-the sermon on the mount
-Hosea
None like him by Jen Wilkin

The law is/was about love. His love for us. He wanted us to focus on Him, to love Him and in turn to love others.
His love never stopped. These Israelites were so unfaithful, so unruly. They would not stop focusing on the problem of the moment to sit in wonder and peace of all God was doing. They were so unworthy of the promised land. Truly so shortsighted about their own selfish wants and desires.

He gave us the law, Exodus 20+ and then His Son to be that perfect love for us, Matthew 5-7- because that is who HE is. Not because of us but because of Him. It’s about His love.
The law is Love. His love. If you obey him and seek him and love him, you become holy through Him…And then you can love His people.
That is the purpose of love. To become holy. To love Him and to love others.
Honestly -that is why God hates lies and gossip, judgement of others. His law says stop looking at others, stop looking at what you don’t have. Stop thinking you are the one that deserves something- honestly – That is why God hates divorce. ..because we are to love each other, and to seek to help each other become Holy. Marriage is holy- It is the same covenant promises that He made with us that we make in return to Him and each other. To love Him and to love each other.
Because we are like the Israelites- so selfish, so quick to defend ourselves and our rights, but we are not worthy. But when we Love God, He gives us that love. He makes us whole. He makes us holy. We become like Him, He works through us. Not because of us but because of Him.
Don’t think for a moment he wants you to be happy while you live in sin- that’s a very destructive lie. He wants you to obey Him, so He can be loved by you. When others break our hearts or don’t love us, love them anyways because that’s the sum of the law.

He isn’t loved by us when we seek our own satisfaction. !!! This world is so fallen and our flesh is so weak but the love of God is as powerful today as it was when He came down the mountain and declared His law to the Israelites.
We make our own rules up to justify our sin. To set ourselves apart as more deserving of His Love. Ha! Fools. We are all sinners. He loves us not because we follow the law to the letter. He loves us because HE IS LOVE.
Wow. Pray for those that don’t know this. That harm us,that hurt others. They don’t know God. 💔

“Then God gave the people all these instructions: “I am the Lord your God, who rescued you from the land of Egypt, the place of your slavery.”
‭‭Exodus‬ ‭20:1-2‬ ‭NLT‬‬
““Teacher, which is the most important commandment in the law of Moses?” Jesus replied, “‘You must love the LORD your God with all your heart, all your soul, and all your mind.’ This is the first and greatest commandment. A second is equally important: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ The entire law and all the demands of the prophets are based on these two commandments.””
‭‭Matthew‬ ‭22:36-40‬ ‭NLT‬‬
““Don’t misunderstand why I have come. I did not come to abolish the law of Moses or the writings of the prophets. No, I came to accomplish their purpose.”
‭‭Matthew‬ ‭5:17‬ ‭NLT‬
“‘You have seen what I did to the Egyptians and how I carried you on eagles’ wings and brought you to Me.”
‭‭Exodus‬ ‭19:4‬ ‭HCSB‬‬
“We know we love God’s children if we love God and obey his commandments.”
‭‭1 John‬ ‭5:2‬ ‭NLT‬‬
“I will plant my people in the land. Those who are not loved I will call my loved ones. Those who are not my people I will call my people. Then they will say, ‘You are our God!’ ”” Hosea‬ ‭2:23‬ ‭GW

Who Has It

2 Feb
“In Your Name
There is truth where logic fails
Understanding that makes sense of our days
You Are Worthy” – Hillsong

As I prepare to lead a group of women through an amazing book about God’s attributes and power, (None Like Him by Jen Wilkin) I am humbled by many things.

First, I don’t have it all together. Second, I am struggling with not having all the answers. Third, I am still healing, ‘am I really ready to lead’?

These are my thoughts that Satan tries to mess me up with; Satan and my flesh convince me that I should have such a mature faith that I am not easily distracted by my struggles.

What this simply means is that I need him more than ever. No matter how mature in faith I become,the more I rely on Him, I will continue to need Him more.
The truth always win, when we seek Him, simply by worshiping Him in the midst of trial. My need for Him grows alongside of my growth in Him. Only He could make that so incredible.What an amazing moment of peace for me.

When we get too caught up in our own struggles, our own pain, our own journey; We need to remember who God is. We have to stop focusing on our circumstance, and ask Him to show Himself. “Who are You and what do You want me to dwell on”.  His word is a great place to start.
If we are going to walk in faith when logic fails us, when we can’t make sense of everything here, that is the precise moment that we need to remember who HE is.
Worship Him in the mystery. “There I find you in the mystery… Spirit lead me, where my trust is without borders” Hillsong
David in Psalm 42 cried out deeply from his depression, yet He  continues to worship God. Amen. There is such peace when we actually remember who He is and who we are not?Thank you Lord for never giving up on me.
Why, my soul, are you downcast?
Why so disturbed within me?
Put your hope in God,
for I will yet praise him,
my Savior and my God.
Psalm 42:11 NIV
…Continue reading these gems: Such blessings. 
Trust in the Lord completely,and do not rely on your own opinions.With all your heart rely on him to guide you,and he will lead you in every decision you make.Become intimate with him in whatever you do,and he will lead you wherever you go.[b]Don’t think for a moment that you know it all,[c] for wisdom comes when you adore him with undivided devotion and avoid everything that’s wrong.Then you will find the healing refreshment your body and spirit long for.
Proverbs 3:5-8 TPT
 
Trust in the Lord with all your heart
and lean not on your own understanding;
in all your ways submit to him,
and he will make your paths straight.[a]
Do not be wise in your own eyes;
fear the Lord and shun evil.
This will bring health to your body
and nourishment to your bones. Proverbs 3:5-8
 
 
 
I long to drink of you, O God,
drinking deeply from the streams of pleasure
flowing from your presence.
My longings overwhelm me for more of you![c]
My soul thirsts, pants, and longs for the living God.
I want to come and see the face of God.
Day and night my tears keep falling
and my heart keeps crying for your help
while my enemies mock me over and over, saying,
“Where is this God of yours? Why doesn’t he help you?”
So I speak over my heartbroken soul,
“Take courage. Remember when you used to be
right out front leading the procession of praise
when the great crowd of worshipers
gathered to go into the presence of the Lord?
You shouted with joy as the sound of passionate celebration
filled the air and the joyous multitude of lovers
honored the festival of the Lord!”
So then, my soul, why would you be depressed?
Why would you sink into despair?
Just keep hoping and waiting on God, your Savior.
For no matter what, I will still sing with praise,
for living before his face is my saving grace!
Here I am depressed and downcast.
Yet I will still remember you as I ponder the place
where your glory streams down from the mighty mountaintops, lofty and majestic—the mountains of your awesome presence.[d]
My deep need calls out to the deep kindness of your love.
Your waterfall of weeping sent waves of sorrow
over my soul, carrying me away,
cascading over me like a thundering cataract.
Yet all day long God’s promises of love pour over me.
Through the night I sing his songs,
for my prayer to God has become my life.
I will say to God, “You are my mountain of strength;
how could you forget me?
Why must I suffer this vile oppression of my enemies—
these heartless tormentors who are out to kill me?”
Their wounding words pierce my heart
over and over while they say,
“Where is this God of yours?”
So I say to my soul,
“Don’t be discouraged. Don’t be disturbed.
For I know my God will break through for me.”
Then I’ll have plenty of reasons to praise him all over again.
Yes, living before his face is my saving grace! Psalm 42 TPT

Walk This Way

31 Dec
Isaiah 30:20-21(HCSB)
20 The Lord will give you meager bread and water during oppression, but your Teacher[a] will not hide Himself[b] any longer. Your eyes will see your Teacher,[c] 21 and whenever you turn to the right or to the left, your ears will hear this command behind you: “This is the way. Walk in it.”

Sometimes events in our lives leave us so completely devastated – things we had no control over, couldn’t have predicted, and cannot explain nor justify. Something that simply just happened. All we can do is try to figure out what comes, seeking answers from God to help us find a supernatural peace that “surpasses all understanding.”

Honestly, we didn’t do anything to cause what happened (though we will replay the events in our minds a million times, just to be sure). We beat ourselves up, we torture ourselves with blaming ourselves, we beat ourselves up with  the rejection of it, we try to make sense of it. It is a torture to be sure, along with the constant desire to be rescued from the pain, the trauma and the cry for mercy and healing. Cries of  ‘ Yahweh, Where are you?’ ‘Why are you leaving me alone in this God? ‘  We are lost as to what are we expected to do now. We seek forgiveness, we seek grace. We seek to be set free. We seek to be made whole.
We grieve, we get angry, we obsess, we pray, we submit. It is all a process we have to walk. We take our time, being careful not to miss a step in the process. (and shortchange our own healing). Eventually you begin to see that though you felt He left you alone, He was beside you. He needed you to walk all the way through this, to see how strong He has made you, amid the complete heartbreak and missteps.
In the end, he doesn’t make us perfect…and we learn to accept that we are loved in our incompleteness. He makes us wiser, stronger. He makes us own our faith. He tests our trust in Him. He breaks strongholds.We learn, we grow.
So, as we look back, as we heal and see our path before us again, we learn:
It is in these time that He chooses not to rescue us; these are the times He walks with us, saying, “This is the way, walk in it.”  Amen.