Tag Archives: stress

Hope

3 Dec
I saw and felt the hand of God today. He moved in our church in a powerful way and when He moves a body of the church, it is palpable and just moves me so much. The message was so relevant and powerful.  When He is so present, so overwhelming in His power, it wakes us up. We come back to Him.

There has been so much sin against God, and so many of us (mainly women and kids) have suffered from covenants broken with God, with us. Families are being torn apart by sin. Satan has been working overtime these days. He knows his time is coming to an end and he is working overtime. 

Even as I love my Father,my savior, my Him so much, even as I climb into my faith…I see so much weakness in my trust. I have so much brokenness in me; Cracks.
Logically, I have amazing wisdom that He has shown me. Growth that should be evident at all times, but it isn’t. Applying it fully, owning it and knowing it to be yours are not as easy. Flesh makes faith so difficult, emotion makes it so hard. The liar, Satan, capitalizes on that weakness. 
When someone does something that is obviously outside God’s word, it is easy to focus on their sin. In the end, it isn’t about them, it is about us. We must, must, must remain in the word, even when we don’t feel  Him or feel the emotion or connection to it. We must be transparent in our own shakiness of faith.  We must seek the Holy Spirit; Our Counselor, guide, Truth teller, our compassionate friend. He holds us when we seek Him. He protects us from becoming too out of reach, too bitter, too angry, too selfish, too hurt, too scared, too weak.
Today I am eyes opened, and fully humbled before him. I have always promised to be transparent in my walk. Truth is, I have been very strong in my walk through divorce and I have been completely a hot mess of sin in it. I have hated, I have gossiped,I have judged and I have bore resentment. I have felt very sorry for myself.
I see my own sin, my own discouragement, my own need for the helper, the counselor, the convictions. My own struggles with my faith, my Holy Spirit relationship. I have shut down in a way I never have before in my life, especially since I found the Holy Spirit in the first place. I have allowed Satan to tell me I am worthless, not lovable, that my love was not good enough, that I am not good enough and I wasn’t worth the same forgiveness and efforts I gave.
In the end, isn’t that saying Christ isn’t enough? Isn’t that calling Him a liar? Isn’t it saying I am so powerful, that I was the reason it all was such a mess, so hard?
 
The truth is, at times, I don’t trust God. Truth is, at times, I feel He didn’t protect me enough, that the Holy Spirit didn’t speak to me loudly enough. That I caused and deserved what happened.

This broken world can just be too much sometimes and I can become so weary, but today.. I was reminded that I am whole in Him, I can feel this broken, this beaten, this lost and still be held so close. He is holding me so tightly and I have been so lost in my own suffering to see Him. He told us we would suffer!  He also gave us all the tools, all the directions, all the promises and everything we would need to remain strong and full of His light. After all, in the end, it is all about Him, it is all for His glory. 

The truth;  The covenant was broken with God, more than with me. Truth is, my love was very real. My covenant was whole and unbroken. I am still His, and honored Him.  The truth is, He is bringing people beside me, people that are building me up. I found myself alone here without family, barely knowing anyone and suddenly I am surrounded by women that love on me, men that encourage me and kids that need me. He is everywhere…. I am just not seeing it, not believing in it. I am not trusting Him with my heart. I put the brokenness of man on Him. Blamed Him for our fallen nature.

He is enough. He is more than enough. He is everything.  When I am weak, He is strong. He is everything He promises and more.

This is my Christmas wish. To unwrap this gift and put it on and to never take it off again. To be so solid in my faith that I never waiver, never get shook. Truth is, if I did that, I wouldn’t be me. I am like Peter. But our love is pure for Christ. If I was so put together in my faith, I wouldn’t be able to be just like the rest of the broken world. I wouldn’t be the light of hope that we can be so in need of Him at all times, in all circumstances, and to remain so vigilant. Transparent. Hopeful.

God with us, Emmanuel.

John 16:7 (AMP)

But I tell you the truth, it is to your advantage that I go away; for if I do not go away, the [a]Helper (Comforter, Advocate, Intercessor—Counselor, Strengthener, Standby) will not come to you; but if I go, I will send Him (the Holy Spirit) to you [to be in close fellowship with you].

Acts 2:24-28

24 But God raised him from the dead, freeing him from the agony of death, because it was impossible for death to keep its hold on him. 25 David said about him:

“‘I saw the Lord always before me.
    Because he is at my right hand,
    I will not be shaken.
26 Therefore my heart is glad and my tongue rejoices;
    my body also will rest in hope,
27 because you will not abandon me to the realm of the dead,
    you will not let your holy one see decay.
28 You have made known to me the paths of life;
    you will fill me with joy in your presence.’[e]

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My Christmas Wish

20 Nov

 

 The generous will prosper; those who refresh others will themselves be refreshed. Proverbs‬ ‭11:25‬ ‭NLT‬‬

 



In my lifetime, like most, I have walked through pain and heartbreak. I have known pain that took my breath away; the kind of hurt that hurt so bad I couldn’t breathe. Fortunately for me, it was in the darkest moments of my life that I found my lighthouse, my compass, my hope in God.

My Bible tells me that God loved us so much that he sacrificed his own son for us. When I think of my children, this humbles me; This is truly a love beyond anything I can imagine. His grace and mercy are as vast as the oceans.

I imagine as He watches us (nothing goes unnoticed) His heart must break. His pain and heartbreak must be constant. We have imagined that we are somehow so incredibly important. As if WE run the show. We are thoughtless and unkind, we are opinionated, we are selfish, we are hypocrites and yes, that is a blanket statement that actually applies.

We are here for such a short minute; some do great things, most just do their best. We matter for a blink of an eye, to only a few. Just a few generations actually will know us or remember us. But God will remember us always. He is and was and always will be. Satan will seek to keep you from Him and he is deceptive.

Ecclesiastes say “to everything there is a purpose under heaven”. What if we sought to learn and gain wisdom from one another rather than fight ? What if we stopped looking outward and started to look inward. Just because many agree on a matter, doesn’t mean it’s a good thing.

Here is truth-and logic- when you have extreme positioning, the truth has been lost.
When I sit back and I think about what God says in Genesis, that he created us in his image, you have to pause and humble yourself for a minute and let that sink in.This means that all of us no matter our homeland, what we look like, whether we are born “different”, rich or poor, we were all made in his image. By design; In His own image.

I love my fellow mankind. I love those that have different beliefs than I. I love those that have different shades of skin tones. I love those that have different customs than I. I love those that hate and even those that hate while calling others hateful (they challenge me most). I can ONLY love when I lift my heart up to lightness rather than darkness. When I do that, everything is brighter, clearer, better.

We are the light-bearers or we should be. We are so blessed in this country. We have miles to go before we are perfect ( as individuals and as a collective whole) but that doesn’t mean we aren’t incredibly blessed. We have gotten so distracted by our discontent.

For me , I have divine peace and my hope is for heaven. When I get out of my way and allow God to press that on my heart, my whole world is bright and full of peace. Peace! We have to start with being quiet, being peaceful, start by inspiring hope in even one person.
If you want change: surrender and Do! In all due regards, Facebook posts do not change the world. Not this one – not any. We are just not that powerful.

This has been a draining year. We have our amazing season of hope and peace, Christmas.

Take time to pause, to consider, where does your peace come from. Find out what you truly believe in that and be that, from peace. When you know where your hope and peace come from, nothing in this world can change that. You become that.

I encourage you to find a cause: the vulnerable children adults and pets, poverty, immigrant needs, homelessness, sexual trafficking, addiction… whatever pulls your heart strings, and do that! You will become a better person, you will grow in ways you had no idea you could.

Let God break your heart for what breaks His heart and follow that call.Maybe we will stop breaking His heart so much. Maybe we truly can be the peacemakers, the peacekeepers.

““You are the light of the world—like a city on a hilltop that cannot be hidden. No one lights a lamp and then puts it under a basket. Instead, a lamp is placed on a stand, where it gives light to everyone in the house.”

‭‭Matthew‬ ‭5:14-15‬ ‭NLT‬‬

“The one who blesses others is abundantly blessed; those who help others are helped.” 

Proverbs‬ ‭11:25‬ ‭MSG‬‬

Divine Peace

18 Nov

In quietness and in trusting confidence I find strength~Isaiah 30:15

My heart and mind can become troubled so easily with the things of life; little things. What I find interesting is that the bigger the problem, the quicker I am to lay it at His feet. To seek Him and seek comfort in Him.

The little things that come my way, the nuisances, annoyances,troubles that come with a day, these are the things I allow to take my mind away from Him.

I have found great comfort in my relationship with God, with the Holy Spirit. I have such a full, unconditional, romantic, amazing love affair going with Him, most of the time, yet suddenly I realize how fickle I am.

I find it so interesting that the longer I go without real sadness within my heart,and the longer this amazing rekindled passion for God lives in me, the easier it is for me to be distracted by life and separated from Him. Now, I would say this is the peace times, that we don’t need to have drama, that we can enjoy simplicity. But this isn’t simplicity or even Peace, I have that too. Just not always. No, this is distraction.

“This is the stuff that drives me crazy
This is the stuff that’s getting to me lately
In the middle of my little mess,
I forget how big I’m blessed
This is the stuff that gets under my skin
~ Francesca Battistelli

Suddenly I find myself with feelings of loneliness, impatience, frustration. These are not the fruits of the Holy Spirit in me, these are the fruits of self, of the world. The happier I am, the more frequent my impatience shows. What I need is a heavy dose of self-control.

2 Peter 1:5-7 (NIV)
5 For this very reason, make every effort to add to your faith goodness; and to goodness, knowledge; 6 and to knowledge, self-control; and to self-control, perseverance; and to perseverance, godliness; 7 and to godliness, mutual affection; and to mutual affection, love.

I have often wondered what having a relationship with a man will do to my relationship with Christ. I feel hesitant to even test that. I cherish and protect that relationship. I am filled with a love beyond measure, my thoughts are His thoughts, my words are His. Suddenly, without warning, I realize I am not plugged in, I am thinking about a multitude of events,wants, demands, hopes, dreams, desires, frustrations, concerns. It takes nothing to sidetrack me.

Being in a sad or broken state sure is a great conduit to being filled with Divine Peace. This is a little of what James touched on (James 1:2 Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters,[a] whenever you face trials of many kinds), but truth be told, I do believe that it is easy to be grateful in great times and easy to lean in during dark times. Complacency begins somewhere in the middle of all that. Suddenly we drop things, or spill on ourselves,traffic stresses us, our co-worker is annoying us, money becomes an awareness, especially as the Holidays come. We make all these plans, we get busy, we text, we socialize. We get lost;Somewhere in living, we get lost.

Colossians 3:12-14(MSG)
12-14 So, chosen by God for this new life of love, dress in the wardrobe God picked out for you: compassion, kindness, humility, quiet strength, discipline. Be even-tempered, content with second place, quick to forgive an offense. Forgive as quickly and completely as the Master forgave you. And regardless of what else you put on, wear love. It’s your basic, all-purpose garment. Never be without it.